HG WELLS the time Machine 

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Have you ever had something happen that makes you see things in a different light.   I finally reached out for help with my ptsd .   I’m getting a councilor.  The voices kept got louder,  the Yelling “DO it, end it,  Get it over with…” was them saying ask for help, and get rid of the pain.

There was an amazing woman that a hug took all my pain away. It scared me because all I was, was pain.   I thought that if the pain was gone I would be nothing……….

  • What if I was nothing,

what if this is true?

What if I was nothing, girl,

nothing without you

So what if I was angry,

what did you think I’d do?

I told you that I love you ……..

    • “What If I Was Nothing” – All That Remains

HG Wells made a time device that could go forward and back in time.

What if you could go back in time.  Change what happened, change the anger, the fights.

YOUR fear and show her what was the real reason you pulled back.  And you could fix the love that was there.  You could have what you lost.

Now you Look at her Facebook.  See the love in her eyes that she has with her new husband.  The smile as she is on a boat crossing a lake on summer vacation with a look of joy and happiness.  Fate gave them a second chance at love.

Do you still go back and fix it? . . . .

As the Disturbed’s version of  “the sounds of silence” echoes in your head.

You want to know what unconditional love is. . . .  Its not getting in the one thing that could make YOUR life happy.

Because true love is not about your wants,  its about theirs.   The us is only a part of it.   When you’re truly in love with some one.   Your life means little their life is what matters.  Because it should be the same for them and thus gives balance.

I love some one that way.  Her happiness means more to me that all the gems, jewels, gold, or money in the world.

She is not here.  one day I will hold her pale hand, brush the long black hair away from her face.  I will kiss the Painted red lips and see a smiles that has 4 teeth that are very long and are very sharp.

So no I don’t go back and fix it.  See you can love more than one persons unconditionally.  This fallacy that you can only love one person is crap. A family with 4 aunts, 5 uncles, 3 bothers, 5 sisters, and your parents and your grand parents.  You can only love one of them really.  Some book, ONE person ideals being used as happiness templet.  People are morons.  They are reactionary, dangerous, heard animals.  That will make fun of others.  Hurt even.  Even murder others because of color of their skin, clothing, What book of religious persuasion.

So the pain, the hurt, the loss, I feel is mine.  Its not for me to share, that’s called love.   Not the groveling of “oh take me back.”  Love is a chemical reaction that happens. If you are numb to some ones affections nothing will rekindle  that love that went cold.  You can only hope that a new love will start between you both again.

A heart is made of glass, it break you can fix it but there is a crack in it and it will never fully heal.  All you can do is hope that a new love will grow.

So no I don’t go back to fix what happened.  because I love her.  She is happy, in love, has a great life so my wants are meaningless.

This is healing.  This is understanding.  This is moving on.

I LONG FOR A PLACE AND A WOMAN I HAVE NOT SEEN………

Have you ever missed a place you have never seen. Love a woman you only see when you close your eyes or in a dream. I miss home. I have not seen home in a very long time. You may have already gathered that I don’t see like others see. There are many truths. All truths are relative pick one that works. No its not alternative facts. That is a rues that the smart people play on the stupid. If the word rues stumps you. Its a two step process. step one Google it. step two take your high school English department to court for a shit education. I hurt from morning to night to be home. To see a woman that most would call horrific. Tall, long black hair, long eye teeth, and skin white as death. Her touch as cold as the grave. But I miss her and pine for her gaze and touch. I have unfairly seen another in this image which was wrong on 2 folds. One, I missed loving a wonderful woman for her self. She has found a man that will put her first. Smart man. Two, Its wrong to place ideas of some one else onto someone else. So I here I sit marking time till I get to a place I want to be.

Breaking even the Scripts

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing
Just prayin’ to a god that I don’t believe in
‘Cause I got time while she got freedom
‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that’s gonna put her first
While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping
‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even, even, no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK
I’m falling to pieces, yeah,
I’m falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
‘Cause she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven even, no

So I sit and hurt. Some say by choice some say its because I loved deeply. Ask the one here she would say I never loved any one or any thing. That may be on the extreme. And in truth she would have much more grace than to say any thing like that, most likely. So if you have “THAT ONE” hug them often. Kiss them, tell them you love them. because days go by slow years flyby. So I wait for the trip home. A cold touch a beautiful woman and a List of stuff to fix….

******

Never had to right a explanation to a post but it looks like I have to. It more longing and excepting that what was holding me here from going home is no longer doing it. She may have been my anchor to keep me from where i want to be. But she still has style, grace, love and kindness. She is my friend. I’m glad she has found her one. But i’m out of here and things have started to fix them selves. Poker is going better. I have a Job. I will have my own place and a dog. Not the one I miss but His Mom and sister are the best. So yes it read it again and understand what I’m saying is. Love peace and pizza grease. I’m going home.

She use to get all the candy…

This is where I will lose readers.  But this is for me not them so here goes.   I’m in love with 2 woman.  YES I see the numbers drop as I lead off with this.   One woman is some one that I have not seen in more years that one can count out loud.  She is pale tall dark hair and has a grace and power not often seen.  Her touch is cold.  Her gaze is hard and piercing.  Her tongue is sharp but has a velvet touch.  The kind of woman that can call you rude, fat, obnoxious and you would smile and nod.  She can also convey her utter displeasure and you would apologies with no hard feelings.

The other woman. ( the one that use to get all the candy).  Has a beauty she does not share easy.  I depth she her self has never dared to delve in to its depth.  She has a cold aloof demeanor.  She weald power sometimes with the understanding of a queen and then that of a petulant 6 year old.  Her eyes are haunted by the wrongs done unto her.  Her speech is unfiltered 75% of the time.  But if you can get past this.  There is a love seldom seen. She has built wall  around walls and there is a price of admission to get past each wall.

I love both women deeply.

One brings out the best in me and I have won battles that most have sought imposable.

The other brings out the Dark Dragon.  I vial creature that does not care what it takes, but will leave scorched earth in its wake to protect her.   The issue is that this beast will also turn on her and will return the hurt received 10 fold.  Yes even to the woman he is protecting.  He will be nasty and hurtful and uncaring.   He will not care about her past.  He wont let her reminisce of her past happiness.

This 2nd woman would get all the candy, for a time.  Then the 2nd woman would mess up and the Dark Dragon would start to turn on her.  It would be small slights at first.  But over time they would get harsher and crueler.  Then the time comes to protect the woman and the beast would be ready to level cities in her defense.   The issues is now he is in a Dark blind rage.  And would turn on the woman and destroy the love they shared.  The 2nd woman’s only defense against this is to release the beast.  Drive it off with any means she could.  But secretly cry about it.  She still loves the Dragon but the beast can no longer be with her.  See he is dying, He cant fly the hate and hurt is killing it.  So to save the Dragon she has to make it leave to heal.

The First woman has seen this from a distance for a long time and it pains her.  Its a ying and yang ideal.  Perspective in some cases.  All truth is relative pick one that works.  Is the underlining sentiment of all of my blogs.   The truth is Both woman are part of the Dragon’s life.  The love is deep and strong with both and no matter who or what tells the Dragon that the 2nd woman is not good for him.  He knows the truth.  They both bring out the best in him just one is the Dark best and the other is the Light best.

That is the true nature of a Dragon of Shadows he has no true nature.  He is chaos, he is the light in the bitch black, Or the Dark spot in a bright day.

My best friend one of my brothers. Some people see him as in essence A blue Dragon.  I call him Gray.  For he is my moral compass.  From where I stand he is neutral. A Gray Dragon on a gray Mountain over looking a gray sea with a gray sky reaching the sea below.  Perspective.  We all have it and that’s why mine is mine yours is yours.

I will return to the first Woman.  If I was Sherlock Homes she would be The Woman.  But the 2nd woman I will always love.  Will always rescue if she needs it and will stay for a time, but will leave when things are calm.  They both Bring out the best.  But perspective says its the worst.  History is written by the winners.  In the end most of us are all Good and Bad at the same time.  Example.  You give a homeless man 10 bucks That’s  good of you some will say.  Some will say its bad you have just paid for his vice ( drug of choice )  Whos right.  Both and neither.

My friends will read this and I hope get a better understanding OF ME the Dragon of Shadows.

I can be the nastiest creature on the face of the earth using any weapon at hand to win.

I can be the one making coffee, sneaking you wine after work on a bad day.  The one giving treats to kids when they where told no candy.

  • I was in the USMC and I remember what my Drill would pound into us. ” your first last and always job is to go home”  and he meant alive. 

This is everyone’s goal to make it home after work, a trip, going to the store.  we all want to go home.

The two woman in my life both are needed for they both are my Light and Dark.  My Valkyrie, and My Vampire.  One I will always return home to and one I will visit when she need me.

Fiction : What issues may come.

Chapter 3:What issues may come.

 

A city has a subtle din as  it comes to life.  Carts rattle down the street. Criers start telling the days events.  Draius falls in the wrong window after a night of city viewing.
A scream is heard from down the hall.   An older woman screams yelling get out why are you in my room again. Guards, guards  where are you, get this man out of my room.  A voice can be heard over the womans.  It’s a voice well known to Airister, its Rodman trying to calm the woman down.  Ma’am , Ma’am… MADAM please hush for a moment.  My ward here drinks far to much and often finds his way in to the wrong room.  Draius doing his best to act the drunk. Issue was he was not acting he was so drunk he could not stand, He lay in the room mumble something about fires and large women.
Kas hops out of bed and grabs her robe, knowing full well her father would be there soon.  Airister laid in bed not moving.  Kas, If your father tosses him in jail at least we would know where to find him till he sobers up.  The Gray could be heard also trying to calm the woman.  Dem yelling about how could he do something like this.
Kas looks at her bed mate, Get up and go save your lost dog.  Why do I have to do it, the others are doing a great job at it.
Out side Airister hears Kas’s father approach. It just got real.  He was in no mood.  Something about a break in at the tower, some missing maps and why was the duchess’s carriage out at this hour.
Gabbing 5 pills and the mug of mead from the child he started his day.  Funny no hangover, he slept, Was in a good mood and was humming.
Oh Master Stuberman, You look put out. Kas hung her head it was going to be a ruff day.  She tried to get back to the room before her father, to late.  KASIDAY what in the nine hells are you doing here at this hour.
Airister finishes his mead, and with the might of a frost giant smashes it against the far wall. The smashes echoes in the empty grand hall.  A quiet is heard. Morning Gray, Dem, Paladin(looking down at Draius) and just shrugs. Ok how much,  How much to make every one to shut up.  Madam, I’m sorry. You see the young lad, Is confused you remind him of his lost mother.  That’s why he has wondered it to your room.  Gray would you help the lad into the Water closet and gently help him to recover. The Gray smiles, I would love to, let  me help the poor lad.  Dem will you grab his bag and we will take him to the Water tub.  Dem not at all amused, Moving close to his ear she mumbles, This better be good.  Draius waves his hand unseen by all but the 4 others.
Paladin, Can you take the guards down to the 5th room on this floor. There is a guard posted there.  You will find I’m guessing the Duchess in there.   With a nod he takes the City guard to the room.  The Paladin moving the sleeping guard out of the way, gently tossing him to the floor and stepping on him.
Now Madam allow me to pay for your morning meal, for the lads transgressions.  The older woman with a tear in her eye looks up.  No no.  Its alright, I lost my son in the last war.  Its quite all right.  please see that the boy stops back to my room later.
Saberman is fuming at this point.  he Steps close to Airister,  Kas fearing that Airister looking for a fight dresses fast.
Airister leaning close to Saberman.  Whispers in his ear your daughter is a very interesting young lady.  Now I don’t think the master of the City watch would like the family secret out in the open.  The color washes from Saberman’s face, YOU WOULD NOT DARE.   He says through tight jaw in  hush tones.
Saberman, all is quiet, every person is accounted for.  Your daughter is safer with me than under your watch. I proved this 6 years ago.  Go and protect the peace I will protect your prized treasure.
With a Sigh of resignation he nods.  Kas, walking up to the two man.  My dearest daughter I will send over some clothes for you.  With a kiss on her cheek he starts off.
Airister catches the man on the shoulder, and turns him around.  His hand extended. Saberman looking at the hand, shakes it. With a nod of his head, takes off to his day ahead.
Screams can be heard, coming from a male voice.  Gray Mumble mumble gasp stop, Mumble mumble , I’m mumble mumble  not  Mumble mumble Drunk any more.  laughing Jamend seams not to care and continues dunking his head in and out of a bucket of water.
Dem looking through the sack Draius has come back with.  She seams shocked at what she is reading.  Seams the King of Kitrn’a was not really in need of help. He was in need of  fighters.  His City was soon to be under siege and wanted fighters there to help.
The Gray and Draius looking on as she reads. water dripping from the thief’s hair. Jamend’s hand still on his neck.  The Paladin enters with a story of his own.  The Duchess was looking for an escort back to Kitrn’a.  Three sets of eyes look at Draius, What was the Duchess doing in your room.  Well you see, Draius proceeds to regale the three of them about last nights events. How Airister’s hiring the Duchess as a bed mate for him.  Three loud sighs could be heard.
The Gray says ok, lets all dress for morning meal.  I will go tell Airister what has happened and meet you at morning meal.
A knock at the door, The child opens the door looking up sees the Gray Ranger.  Ruffing the boys hair, Gray asks, horses done? Yes M’lord.  Did you Shine and check the Armor.  No Sir.  And why not young man.  Well Sir you and Dem where sleeping.  The man of god was mad I was there as he was doing words with the statue.  And well I was told not to enter Airisters room, EVER.  With a nod The Gray under stood.  Drops a silver piece in the child’s hand.  Can you do me a favor for a 2nd silver piece.  yes Sir.  Good boy,  go see if any other sell swords are in the town.  OH that’s easy sir.  there are about 50 or so.  The little boy holding out his hand.
A laugh can be heard, it was a laugh the Gray had not heard in many a year.  Pushing his way in, he looks at the Hunter.  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM KASIDAY! In a booming voice.
Easy Gray I’m well, the child is a fast learner.  A look crosses the Grays face.  Shadowhawk? (Its what the Gray called Airister in privet moments.) You are in a good mood. Yes, Yes I seam to be.
At that moment the image crystal glows, a Good Morning Dragon Is heard, the mirth leaves Airister.  The mood thickens, a rage starts to grow in the assassin.  The Gray hands the child  5 gold coins. Go child, pay for the seven meals. also change your clothes, you will eat with us.  With fear in his eyes as he see’s the change take over Airister. He leaves the room.
Why do you keep that thing if it angers you so much.  The Gray reaches for the crystal, a short sword appears between him and the crystal.  leave it Gray, lets not start the day with a fight please. The Gray nods and backs away.  In truth the two had never come to blows before.  The Gray knowing Airister’s killing skills and Airister never wanting to test his brothers metal to see the answer.
Kas, Tell the child to come back in the room.  She heads for the door.  He is long gone, says The Gray .   Kas opens the door, Draius and the child fall into the room.  A look of annoyance and amusement crosses the Grays face.  How did you know, Shadow.  It was easy, The child is a street urchin, Draius is a thief he forgot how to knock years ago.
Child what is your name?  The boy looks down and sways.  Child I asked you a question, tapping her foot.  Airister touches Kasidays arm.  The boy has no name, do you child.  Wards of the church don’t get names.  There just mouths to feed, free labor or worse. this was the way of the world they lived in.  Airister  looks down and thinks. What should we call him.  Draius starts to speak, he is quickly talked over. Do shut up, You have nothing to add, so just don’t speak. The Gray had little use for the sound of Draius’s voice.
Kasiday says Ray.  That is his name. Ray, For he is a Ray of hope.  The Gray was slightly put out, that she had named the child. Its Fine Gray.  All will be explained at meal, Shadow says with an even tone.  The Gray nods and lets it go.
Ray go to the Desk, Have the small dining room set for us please. Gray give him 10 more gold.  WHY? its your request.  I took care of the mess this morning. You pay for the meal. The Gray nods seeing the point and hands twelve more to the child.  Ray leaves the room.  Airister looks over to the Gray.  Jamend? Yes Shadow.  I know you can count, you gave him twelve.  Did I? oh I must be tired.  That was a lie. He never miss counted and was far to giving to the needy.
In the small dining room the table was set.  Dishes, cloth rags for the hands.  Airister tells the serving wench the cheap eating wear. knowing well Draius was eating with them.  Wench if you have wood eating tools that would be great was heard from a voice.
Rays eyes went wide with the food left on the table.  Chicken, duck, and turkey eggs cooked in many ways.  A hunk of meat and watered wine and mead.  A hot drink made with beans from the hill side of the forest Elves.  Ray Trying to hide a hunk of bread in his shirt.
Airister thunks him on the head with a eating tool.  Ray you need not steal food or hide it.  The boy looks sad and places it back on his plate.  Dem looks at the child. Ray do you have a pouch to carry items.  No Miss, was all Ray could say.  Well he needs one she says.  M’Lady Kasiday? Yes Man of God what is it.  Would you take me to the Finest Armor here in the city I need his work.  A look of fear crosses her face.
Airister,  looks over the table and nods to the Gray.  The Gray nods in understanding.  The Gray points to the door, with out a word Draius is at the main entrance.  Ray?  Yes Sir Gray.  Hanging his head with a sigh. Ray you can call me, Jamend , Ranger, Gray, NOT Sir or M’Lord under stand? yes Sir he answers.  A giggle can be heard. A thump on his head again. yes Si… Yes I under stand, the boy whispers.  See the Serving door. yes he says. Good lad.  lay on the floor and watch for people walking in on us ok. Yes Si…… I under stand.
Kas, could you give us some quiet please. She Looks at Airister, Confused.  Please my dear just do it.  With a sigh she stands and finds the middle of the room.  Lifts her hands, chants some words, her hands flash, with a clap of her hands.  A tomb again.  They all look up at Kasiday.  Shadow, stands.  My new traveling partner has a few tricks. Six eyes widen, never before had Airister ever done this before.
Paladin, Kasiday is a Demon.  Looking over at her lover.  Really like that is how you tell every one.  You will pay tonight in the room.  Witch hush please.  She shoots Shadow a glare.  The Paladin laughs out loud.  My Dark brother you may want to sleep in a different room.  Paladin, when I need advice of the heart I will ask Dem.  I need to drink I will look up Draius. I need to be healed I will see you, my Brother of Light, till then Shut up.  Kas, was still uneasy with the group knowing her secret.
Dem looks over. Kas.  Yes M’Lady Demaras. is heard with a squeaky voice.  Kas, I’m Of Elvin and Dragon kin. I keep the Elvin form because its how I am at ease.
Dem looks over to the Gray.  Kasiday? Yes Ranger of the Gray Mountains. all look at her. No one ever used the Gray’s full name.  Steal could be heard being drawn.  Worst of all It was her lovers blade in her ribs that bugged her the most.  How do you know his title Kas, Airister was starting to grow and change as the anger grew.  Looking down.  I knew you all where coming.  I have been watching you for years Shadow.  He reached for the chain on his neck. Her hand touches his.  I have always watched over you. The voice you hear when people are sneaking up on you is mine. Standing 8 feet tall and a tail  6 feet long stands the form of a Dragon kin. Airister had changed with out thinking from the anger he was feeling.  From the other Side of the room Jamen also has changed. Standing as tall as his brother in a blue that was so deep, little except for gems of rare value could match his color.
At the door a large Lycan, with a silver coat.  Canine teeth four inches long, claws, razor sharp, eyes like coal.
The Paladin stands, holding his robe in front of him.  Grows to so tall he has to stoop in the room.  Covering his male parts says I’m part Giant and berserker. I was raised by the church I know no parents, I have no family but them in this room.
Kasiday dropping her dress. changes. The silver strip in her hair the wings and the Black skin and fangs, talons, and a tail. With fear in her eyes she looks over to Shadow who still had his knife in her ribs. My lover, would you mind greatly removing your knife please.
The Paladin speaks, for it was always a vote if some one stayed or not.  Lady of the lower plains.  I will fight beside you for only one reason.  You take the dreams, the pain and the anger from my Brother.  I pledge to protect you as he would.  a nod comes from the others at the table. A whimper is heard from the corner of the room.  all eyes turn to see Ray in fear of the Monsters about the room.
Draius walks over, sniffs the child, returns to the door and Changes back. It was always pain full and with a hangover it was worse.  Reaching in to Airister’s pouch takes out some pill’s.  A snarl is heard from both sides. teeth shown, then both stop.  Draius looks up, Shadow nods.  Draius takes four, places the bottle back in the pouch.
Kas looks over at the two not understanding. the Gray speaks.  There father and son in a manor.  Airister’s First wife was a  lycan. She nods.  The Gray continues, Draius is the best at tracking, finding hidden things, and locating information.
Demaras, walks over to the child. Kisses his head don’t be afraid little one.  There is not a being in this room that will hurt you. The Assassin coughs.   The boy is scared his body seams to sparkle.  Little horns appear.  he try’s to hide them.  Airister laughs, deep and with out fear. the child is of Satyr kin. What a group are we.  Smiles crosses all there faces.
Man of god? Yes M’lady Of dark,  how can I help you.  I will take you to the Elvin-Dwarf later.  As in one voice they all say, what.  The Smithy is of Elvin and Dwarven dissent.  None in all the realm make weapons of his quality. Airister Looks over to the normal sized Paladin, maybe he can make you an armor that will change as you do.  Do you know the Cost of that, Dark Hunter.  With a Sigh, yes I do.   We will figure it out later.   Now tell me all the Dog has found out last night.  They all eat as if they had not just eaten moments before.  Changing had a way of working up a hunger.
Kas? yes Dragon.  We need to talk in the room. a slight pain in her heart.  He was not happy and the chat would not be a joyous one
With the Meal done, even Ray was full. The Gray speaks.  Ok  we need to get supplies.   Maybe we can also get some information about this new employer.  Shadow looks over at Draious.  The old woman would like you to stop in.  He hangs his head, I said I was sorry.  No, No. I said that she reminds you of your mother, that has passed on, She started to cry because you remind her of the son she lost in the war.  Draius nods and understands, he would go make the older woman smile and maybe even return some of the items he stole.
Gray, what’s the plan.   Airisters looking around as if trying to find something.  ShadowHawk, what are you looking for? The Gray asks worried that the spell of silence is breaking.  I need some air is all, Sorry please go on.  Jamend continues,  We will need four more days. two for information, One to supply.  Ok that’s three, what are we doing with the forth.  Today we Rest.  All eyes look at The Gray.  Look, Airister has laughed for the first time in a year, he slept last night, I think we all could use a day or so to remember how to enjoy life.  Kas, slides her hand into Airister’s. She smiles up at him he does not return the smile and removes his hand.
Gray we done? Yes you nasty bastard, why.  Grabbing a bottle of mead he storms out.  Kas hangs her head.  Kas? Yes Draius.  My Father is a nasty man, but he is fair. Talk to him, his last wife did not.  He is hurting and well he does have a kind side we all know it. Don’t give up hope.  She gets up to leave. She is stopped at the door. Kas? She turns around with a slight anger.  What, she snarls.
Why did you give him the scring charm.  Lowering her head, she inhales. I fell in love with him. I wanted to be with him. He would not have it, with me being only 18 winter’s.   So I gave him the charm, so I could feel like I was. I never looked in when he was at his home.  Never looked in on them and their home life. I just wanted to be with the man that saved me.  Is that so wrong.
The Paladin moves close to Kas and hugs her.  It was wrong yes but it was done with no malice and no ill intent.  It was a woman infatuated with her hero.  I will meet you after Mid-day meal and we will shop.  I’m going to pray and Sleep.  With shock they all look at the Man of God.  What? you said a day off and there is a soft bed.  I may be a man of god, but a soft bed and a free day I will enjoy both.
The Gray smiles. Yes time off is what is needed.  Dem looks over at Ray.  Ray come here please.  The child sadly looks at the floor.  Good you have hidden your horns, come we are shopping. She waves to the Gray I will be back.  There is a little boy in need of a horse, saddle and travel gear.  The little boy looks up.
You all are keeping me. Dem stops, with hands on hips speaks in a tone that of a Mother/sister/teacher all in one.  Ray you are not property,  you will travel with us yes, but only if you want to.  Now would you like to travel with us?  But be warned there are dangers and hardships.  We face death all the time and there will be swearing, drinking and brotherly fights.  Now again, would you like to travel with us?  The boy looking up nods, Yes Lady Dem I would like that.  A spark is seen as he claps his hands together.  The child has magic about him, he has quick hands, Maybe he could be of use thinks The Gray.

Will We be ok??????

Rainas DragonThere is a little girl and she has her Dragon.  The Dragon is feared by many, is unlikeable and has many scares.  The Dragon found the little girl is a place that had many wonderful things to see.  Also many nasty and horrible places also.  The little girl lived in a home that she was unloved and treated badly.  She was a slave and could see no way to be free.  The Dragon came to give the little girl strength and love.  The little girl found the courage to stand up to the troll and force him out.  As time went by the little girl grew up.  It was time for the Dragon to fly once again. So the little girl sent the Dragon away to find happiness.  The Dragon was sad  but moreover he was proud of the fact he has saved the little girl.  To give some one a chance to be free and to love is the greatest thing a Dragon could do.  The little girl still talks to the Dragon.  Still calls to him, still love the Dragon.  In time may call the Dragon home.  Till then she know she has a Dragon.

There is a Little boy scared lonely.  He finds a Vampire cold and aloof, hiding in a dark castle.  The little boy knocks and knocks till the Vampire come out to send him a way.  The little boy scared and lonely would not leave. The Vampire grows to love the little boy and has him move in.  Over time the little boy becomes bratty.  The Vampire becomes busy.  They each try to get the others attention but they each fail.  Till one day the little boy being a brat opens a window.  Sun light shines on the heart that was theirs.  The sun shatters the heart and the Vampire send the boy away.  The Boy sit out side the castle wanting to go back in.  There is another in the castle with the Vampire now.  The Vampire loves the little boy. Talks to the little boy.  But loves another boy.  So someday the little boy may go back in the castle only time will tell.  The Vampire says ” I will always love you, Little one.”  The little boy put on a brave front but once again.  He is cold and lonely and misses the days of Wine and roses. The Vampire will always be there for the little boy. But the little boy will no longer be able to hold her hand or touch her.

This is the two sides to the same story.  We all have different personas.  The Bratty boy is also the Dragon.  The Vampire is the Little Girl.  The view is different but still the same outcome.  Kiss good morning, Hug often. Talk.  A sad little boy/girl misses their Vampire/Dragon.

Fiction Chaptor 1

Goth chick

Chapter 1 the Road ahead

As they ride the Gray speaks. . . So here is the job.  From the back the Paladin, Yes is it for My God and his fine work.  No its for money and for the thrill is all the reply he gets.  Jamend The Gray Ranger continues.  There seams to be a need for us to find the reason the King of Kitrn’a is losing men and life stock.  Airister, In foul mood says.  What is the pay for this monumental task.  Rodmon the Paladin, says What ever the pay is we shale give 3/4 to the Gods and the work they Do.  The hell with, For Your God.. You give what you want its a 5 way split.  Is the Elf’s reply.  Demaras of the Elven royal House of silver.  A long title for such a woman but Dem is the fast version.   Draius The thief starts his non stop babble. He is in love with his own voice. .   Draius. Would you still be able to talk with an Arrow in your neck? I don’t think so Replies Draius why do you ask Jamend.  If you don’t shut up we will find out retorts Airister. .
They Argue and bicker as they ride, gallows humor.   Their outlook for they all know at any time life could end. well for the others, Airister is different he has been cursed.  The God of the dead will never allow him the peace that is death.  This group has traveled often together. Sometimes they travel to their homes.  Often regrouping when life gets boring. Or a break is needed form their mundane home lives.     Airister is no longer welcome at his home.  The road is it for now.  Drinking to much. To many tablets.  The love of tavern girls is what he has now.  His life, his home, all gone and with little chance to be reclaimed.  The anger and hurt of a female vampire.  Her suffering is not easily forgiven.  She has the Castle, the Animals.  He has the items on his person.  Dem rides close to Jamend. Can he be counted on. I mean he’s a mess, he is a drunk, he smells, takes to many tablets and is very angry.  Dem! he is what he is replies Jamend.  He is a decent Ranger.  A dirty fighter.  He  does all the nasty work that needs to be done.  Answer me this Dem.  When there is a fight would you rather him be fighting in front of us or not there.   In front of us Jamend that’s a silly question. No Dem the Silly question was can he be counted on.  She nods with a snort and slides back, in order.
The sun rows high in the sky. Hey Gray, can we find a nice clean stream to stop at.  Why Airister? is it bath time, Pipes in Draius.  No thief, but next time you pick the wrong pocket.  I may not be so fast to step in.  Now Shut that wine hole of yours. Was Airister’s reply with a foul look.   Airister knew that the thief was right.  He could not remember the last time he had scrubbed {lack of a better word} skin was.  Hey about 1/4 sun movement from here is a town.  Gallows tree I think its called.  Lovely name, I think I will get a summer home there pipes in the Paladin.  Really Paladin just really.. is the reply from a voice in the crowd. . Look If we stop there for food and the night I will bath and even clean my armor, Deal. Fine Airister but No brawls and no women and no mead.  Jamend you get 2 of the 4.  We all agree on the bath and armor.  Now pick 2 of the last 3.  The gray shoots Airister a look that would freeze running water.  Shower, no Brawls DEAL? Deal Jamend.  Draius rubs his hands together, joy a new town. Yes Thief and with no brawls you get caught steeling your on your own got it.  Speaks the Paladin. Oh yes your oh shiny one is Draius’s only reply.  Dem shakes her head in dismay she knows the truth of this night ahead.  There will be drinking, fighting, stealing. A crusade and that’s all before the sun will set. .  She prays that just once it will be quiet.  That she and Jemend can rest and not be disturbed.  With a bad thief,  an over zealous Paladin,  a raging dark ranger, looking to hurt something more than he hurts.  The chance is very slim.  But maybe just maybe.
As they road into town. Draius says, we seam to be drawing attention to our selves.  You don’t say, is Airister’s reply.  What was your first clue, the guards Drawing their bows? or the metal wall in front of us.  They looked up to see in front of them a  wall of armed guards,  archers on top of buildings. Rodmon speaks, Airister why do I get the feeling this is your doing.  Why do you always blame me.  Halt and state your names and why you are here.  Dem Pipes up, we are simple travelers that  just seek food, a bed and a bath for one of our companions.  The Master of the guard walks past Dem and Jamend.  Past Draius and Rodman.  Standing at the side of Airister.   Looking down, hello Greeting Stuberman you look well. .  IN a loud and unyielding voice Its Sabermen and you know it you slimy bastard.  Here,  Here  Stuberman you still all worked up over the last time I was here.  How was I to know the wench was your daughter.   I paid her well, more than you make in a year as I remember.    The master of the guards reached up to pull Airister from his mount. Well tried to for as the master of the guard reached up, Airister slid off his saddle.  In a blaze of steel.  Airister had a short sword under Sabermen’s Chin.   The Paladin whispers I knew it all the time. why did he have to do minitor dung here.  The 3 others all sat not moving knowing that this could turn ugly in a heart beat.  Now Stuberman we can talk about this like gentleman.  Right.  What would make this write with you besides me not killing you right now.  Sabermen looking up a sword point under his chin.  Well for one your word not to see her again and that its a short stay. .  Reaching in to his saddle bag grabbing a hand full of coins how about this…  Take this 25 gold pieces, toddle off and be a good Guards  men.   Leave me alone.  Airister moves closer and whispers in his ear. I’m sorry for your family’s honor.  Now take the gold, there is 50 there not 25 keep the other 25.  Buy your family some thing nice.  let me and my party have a quiet evening.  We will even go to the Tavern of your choice so you know where we are.  Reluctantly the master of the guard agrees.  From the crowd a young girl screams.  Airister  you have come back.
A raven haired lass, bounds from the crowd.  Pushes past the master of the guard.  Father leave Airister alone, he was good to me. He did not hurt me.  Now stop and go protect the piece.  The Raven haired woman , with tan of skin.  Not from working fields.  From the pampered life of the middle class.  The silk dress did little to hide her curves,  even less at hiding her cleavage.  With out a word she plants a kiss on Airister’s lips,  pulls him close.  Airister stands there arms at his side.  As the girl comes up for air he speaks.  Um, M’Lady Sabermen.  Your father has asked that we not see each other.   I will respect his wishes.  Draius pipes in, WOW that will be a change.  As a back hand from the paladin knocks the thief from his horse.  Kasiday looks to her father.  Father I’m of 23 winters old I will see who I please.  Airister chokes as he thinks back to when he was last hear.  Three, no Five, No six, yes six years that would have made her seventeen + winters old this is not a good way to start this trip.
Master Sabermen escorts them to the tavern. .  Really  Stuberman. The winged horse this must be the priciest place in town.  Rodman smiles clean sheets, clean water ,real food. .   yea and really pricy,  you Shiny man of low intellect, Airister says in a huff.  As Airister looks around it dawns on him why this place. .   Plenty of places for archers to watch and the gaol was in view.  So was the master of the guards  house.  Dem pipes in we can share rooms ..   NO can be heard from three of them.  Airister sleeps alone except for the paid wenches and mead. The paladin would not sleep with a thief.  well the thief was known to bring ill gotten items back to his room along with some women that would steal a dead man’s teeth if they had value.
Airister looks to Jamend. .   Ok we each pay fifty – fifty, you pay for Dem.  We split the paladin and I will pay for the thief. Deal?  Deal is Jamend’s reply with tone that could only be one of resignation and loathing.  The thought of the cost of this night was not a pleasant one.  Look at it this way Jamend, Airister will be clean and we know there will be no issues with the thief or the paladin, states Dem.  Jamend knows the truth, the thief will be in and out of every room by the time dinner is cooked. The paladin will have talked to every working girl about there sinful way of life. With  Airister….. Jamend shivers at what this night will bring.  Already   Kasiday  had Airisters saddle bags in her arms.  She had ordered 4 rooms with water closets. She told the desk a story Dem and Jamend are Married. this night was going to be long, not with out blood shed, with the possibility of a dead body at some point.
Kasiday had ordered a bath for Airister.  he had his armor off and hanging on the rack.  Kasiday had paid a street urchin 3 silver, to scrub and pick the dried ichor out of the chain and rivets.  As night fell and the dark crept in to the room Airister vanished.  The child and Kasiday look around for they can not see him.  Child? did he use the door.. No mum, he was at the window.  The sound of water splashing can be heard, Kasiday blinks.  Airister how did you walk past us to the tub of water?  He shrugs, says  you must have blinked.  A knock at the door A voice is heard, “dinner in 1/4 of a candle.”
Airister? yes Kasiday. where are your clothes. . . Airister slumps down in the water.  He has no clothes only the armor on his back.  Nothing that could pass for dinner in a place like this.  Airister I asked you a question.  I DONT HAVE ANY was the reply… Kasiday looks at him.  What do you mean you have no clothes.   Draius falls in the window.  He was asked to leave his home and only took what he could carry.  A bottle flies across the room glancing off the thief’s head. OUT, GET OUT you little bastard.  The street urchin looks up, “me mum?”…. No child you stay, Thief out with you.  Kasiday frisks Draius  and sends him out the door.
Looks in at the washing man and says. So your homeless.  Yes, Do you want to tell more people.  Maybe we can tell the town crier.  Have it as table talk down stairs.  He stands and water beads and rolls off.  Not drip like on other men.  Kasiday says give me 5 coins.  Why is the reply. Airister, you need clothes I will send for some. Fine, is his reply.  Nude and with out a care he walks out from the well lite water closet. Vanishes as he hits the darken room.  A clink of coins and he walks back in and seams to reappear.  The street urchin gasps.  Airister tosses him a gold coin for silence.  Kasiday looks at him how do you do that. Its a gift is all that comes from his lips
Draius, as expected was in and out of every room.  Picking up a coin here, a broach there.  A pearl pin.  A fine long sword caught his eye as  he enters a room.  Just then an older woman enters the room from the hall.  He hides as the woman undresses and washes with the help of a water bowl and pitcher.  Draius was trapped. He was going to be there a while and he know it.
Jamend and Dem also chose to wash and clean up. For who knows when warm water and soft cloth would be at hand again.  Jamend know this was not going to be good.  He knew Airister’s had issues and was not really ready to take on the city guard.  When Airister’s  Issues would come to light.   Dem asks, what eats at HIM.  She would not use Airister’s name.  It was HIM,  HE , some times the dark one.  Jamend says, it’s the wars and the loss of her.  Well the wars have been over for some time.  Well he needs to move on from her.  Jamend shoots Dem a glance.  Yes, yes please say that again at dinner.  We have not had a brawl in over a day its high time we have one again.  Jamend knew that Airister’s losing of his home was the fault of his and the Vampires equally.   But that does little to ease the pain Airister felt every moment awake or a sleep. Dem askes  Why does he dwell so?   Jamend just shrugged it off. He knew why and would stand with his brother no matter what.  Even if Airister was at fault.  They dressed In Elvin robes an clothes and headed to the Paladins room.
The Paladin naked, kneeling to a figurine that seams to move.  He talks out loud, but no sound can be heard in return. Yes great One it shale be done I will convert 2 wenches this night and a guard to your calling. Yes Great one Airister still travels with us as does the thief.  I shale not abandon them you can’t ask me to. Oh thank you great one your Grace is overwhelming  and  generous.  A knock at the door.  Rodman dinner.  Is heard from the Gray Ranger. I am in need for Clothes and I will be down.  A water  falls over him but does not make the floor wet and he stand clean and quaffed. Thank you All mighty one for your generous gift you have bestowed.
A knock at the door of Airister’s room.  Evening meal the Gray calls in.  No reply comes. He knocks again and enters.  What he finds he can not help but laugh.  There in dark pants, a frill shirt and short coat stands a washed and dried Airister. Really For the love of God and Goddess, REALLY you laugh.  That’s it I’m taking it off. Kasiday stands and says fine take it off.  I will tell the whole tavern you had relations with me when I was 17 winters old.  He sighs with resignation, you know its not true.  You had turned 18 when we met. Kasiday smiles,  I may have been off a month or two who is to know.  Airister sunk lower to the floor.  I may be ill is all he can say.   Jamend looks at the clean armor, boots, the oiled leathers,  shoulder holsters.  looks at the street urchin.  You,  child do you have a home? Parents? Can you feed and water horses?   No,  None, and Yes was all the child said.  Fine you now travel with us.  You are to feed, water,  brush the horses and clean armor we will feed you and clothes you.  Really Jamend and whom will pay for his up keep. .  It will come out of the general fund… Airister knew that look from his brother, that meant we all chipped in and took care of it.  Fine But he sleeps with the horses. .  Not my room, Airister stated.  Jamend looks over, yes your horse will love that. .  a sigh can be heard from Airister.  Kasiday, go buy the boy a bed in the common room.  Kasiday smiles, taking the boy by the hand.  Kasiday, before you take him down there.   Airister sighs, wash him, get him some travel clothes.  As he hands her 10 gold coins. 1 is for his pocket 2 are the bath 2 for the bed and 5 for clothes and travel needs.  That’s the spirit Airister see it feels good to help does it not.  No, it does not Jamend, it feels like I have a hole in my saddle bags.
The party meets in the main hall for dinner.  Kasiday in dress of silk.   Airister in his coat, matching pants and dark shirt.  Jamend knows there will be no wenching tonight for Airister.   Kasiday has her claws in deep.  Dem is taken back by the way He has cleaned up. The Paladin and the Thief both showing up at the same time.   Rodman holding Draius by the back his the neck.  Found him in a room with a woman screaming.  I did not look as she washed was all the thief could say.
The child stands at the table.  Clean, new clothes.  Who is this asks the Paladin.  Another mouth to feed I see.  For a man of God you have little compassion for the poor.  Rodman shoots Airister a glair.  Who is paying for the child?? Jamend  says we all are, now, Shut up and stop being the ass that you are.  The boy held the chair out for the ladies.
He moves to Kasiday’s side and waits.  Airister Waves the boy over.  Whispers in his ear and slips him a silver and the boy rushes off.  What was that about. Nothing Dem nothing at all.  Moments later the child returns with a tankard of mead and smiles. .  Airister looks over, really, mead here is a silver piece. The child looks down and says No.  The mead I stole and kept the silver.  Draius laughs.  The Paladin says well he was honest.  Airister flicks the child’s ear.  YOU DONT STEAL MEAD OR FOOD.  At this point the owner stands at the table.  Airister, looking for a fight, starts to speak. Jamend cuts him Off. Good sir thank you for coming over we would like to thank you for the Mead you sent over.  We would like to order 3 bottles of your finest wine.  Looking over his shoulder at Airister.  Also 3 bottles of mead. Meats and food for the table.  The owner fresh out of anger nods and walks away.  Airister glares at the gray Ranger. I could have handled that.  Yes and there would have been a fight, now shut up and drink your mead.
The child’s mouth open in amazement at the food on the table.  Airister looks over at the child.  Waves down a serving wench. ” I need a plate and a mug of Watered mead and hurry. a silver if your fast.”  She returns a moment later. Airister pulls the silver from the boys pocket and hands it to the Wench.  She smiles and wheels off.  The boy looking down at the empty pocket. Feels a bump on his head. looking up he see’s Airister with a plate of meats, bread and the watered mead. Get your ass Under this table and eat.  Before I rethink this.  The child grabs the plate and mug and slides under the table,  The table all turns to look at Airister with total shock.  What we had extra just eat is the only reply he gives.
The oil lights are burning red,  the hour is late, sleep calls Most of the party.  Airister reaches for his bottle of pills, tosses 5 in his mouth and pulls from a tankard of mead.   Sleep is the daily enemy of Airister’s ongoing fight.  Kasiday slides close, whispers in his ear. I will be with you. You will be safe, I will not tell your secrets.  She knows his secret but did not know about the screams, the verbal abuse the drink will unleash.  Jamend what time do we ride out in the morning?  Sun up why.  Well how many days ride, Asks Rodman.   No more that a day replies Jamend, why?  Well where are we going to Supply up if its a day away. Dem asks.  This was a good point.  Jamend took a moment to think.   Airister hung his head, pulls the boy from under the table whispers in his ear.  Sends the boy off.  the boy stops looks over his shoulder. You ask for payment I will slay you where you stand now GO. The child runs like a Dragon was on his heels,  If the boy only knew the truth of that feeling.
Moments later Master Sabermen stands at the table.  Fire in his eyes over the sight of his daughter sitting at the table with Airister.  Airister  Pulls over a chair.  Offers it to the Master of the guard.  A heavy pouch in his hand.  He hands it to Sabermen, says we will be staying on for 3 or 4 days.   There is enough gold in there to pay all the men you have watching us.  With you daughter sitting in with us you will always have eyes on us what do you say?  A slight rage grows in the mans chest, he opens the pouch.  His eyes widen, he sighs and nods.  Thanking the table for the gift and takes his leave. Kissing his daughters head whispers in her ear. she smiles nods and kisses his cheek back.  What was all that about Dem asks Kasiday. He told me to keep watch over this one for he may have  good in him yet.  Airister snarls and crushes a glass in his hand.  With that dinner was over.  The boy looks over and sees no blood on the glass or in Airister’s hand tilting his head he shrugs.  Wonding off to check the rooms then head to his bed in the common room with the traveling help.
The child had lucked out. He had gotten a bed between to older women that smiled as Kasiday walked the child to his bed.  Now you know what you need to do in the morning. Yes Mum, In the morning make sure the horses are looked after, All except the black mare give that one a wide birth.  Then shine the God man’s armor.  Look for the thief.  Wake Dem and Jamend.  Then have a mead ready at Airister’s door.  I’m not to go in just wait there.  Good boy.   Mum will you travel with us. No little one Airister will not let me travel with him And in truth he loves another.
Then mum why do you look after him so.  Kasiday tells the child of that night, how Airister had killed 2 men that had attacked her and asked for nothing in return.  Airister was in a drug and mead induced trance and had mistaken Kasiday for someone else.  I walked him to his room and laid him in his bed.  He started to shake and thrash so I laid on top of him and he calmed.  He whispered her name and fell a sleep.  Kasiday was omitting great parts of the story.  No one was to know what she had scene and she would go to the grave keeping his secret.  For he has send two men to the grave for her it was the least she could do. the child looked up and said Is Airister a bad man.  The smile faded from Kasiday’s face.  He was once the most skilled Assassin or  Hunter in the realm.  Someone asked him to change and he did for that person.  Now she is gone, he fights the darkness everyday. Mum do you fear being near him. Yes child I do for I have seen what unspeakable things he can do to a persons body.  Then mum why do you watch over him.   Kasiday thought long on the boys question.  The older woman spoke up.  “because”  is all reason you need to know. Time for sleeping Little boy.  The older women ushered Kasiday out of the Common chambers and locked the door. Kasiday steeled her self for what she was about to see and live through again.  She thought back as slight smile crept over her face.   Not many have scene what she has scene.  She headed off to once again become a woman she has never met for a man she liked and feared all rolled in one.  He could feed and clothe a child befriend a paladin.  Yet could rip a man’s arm off and beat a second man to death with that same arm.  This was not a night for the faint of heart.

RE-post.. Its ledgable and cleaned up

the Shadow of the GoddessAnd from the dark he rises
The Room is dark, The smell of wheat, stale alcohol, an vomit fills the room.  A knock at the door…From an unseen male voice.” think he is alive.”  a female voice answers ” the bar girl says he was, when he paid her” ” knock again…….”
the knock is repeated. A mug shatters as it hits the door. “yep he’s alive”.  Mumbles and the sound of crashing bottles, and swearing can be heard. The female asks, ” should we go in?”  the male voice replies, ” ya its almost sun up, we should be off.”  The Female replies, ” like he will be able to ride in this condition”. The male answers, “He lives, he can ride”
Hearing the knock at the door and the Words he grabs a mug and throws it. It smashes, ringing in his head He thinks …… Not a great idea,. . ….  another night of nightmares, …… the black sleep of the dead,   . . did I pay her last night, . .  did I pay my mead bill, . . . how the hell did I end up in a bed. .  this day will suck. . .   As the door opens the Light washes over him. SHUT THE DAMN DOOR he groans  as the two enter the room. . .
The door closes, the male speaks. ” we ride in a short order. throw up and be done with it or drink more your, choice”. The female replies” More drink, he drank enough to kill 12 men.  You want him to drink more?”
I raise up. “I did not drink enough to kill 12 men for I’m still alive,. . . why I have no idea.”.  Issue is he knows why he is alive. . . I look over to the night table. Grabbing a bottle of tablets.  I pours out a few and toss them in my mouth. I swallows them down with stale mead.
The male voice answers yes, that’s the answer, more pills that will do it.  Look Ranger you and the Elf know this is me. You still ride with me…  The Ranger’s about as tall as a strong horse. He is keen of eye. Bearded and speaks little.  Light chain mail shirt.  A thin jerkin covers him, all in a forest brown.
She is of Elvin decent skilled in many thing. prayers. daggers. the bow. A fine chain armor shines. a fine bow across her back. short sword hang at her hip. .
The Ranger draws the drapes.  I role over to avoid the light. The Ranger speaks. It still amazes me how you vanish in shadows,. . . Its a gift.  Gray, can I ask WHY the hell we are riding at this hour. . . The Gray replies well your little brawl last night will not go over to well and we have a job. .  “Joy” I reply “what is it this time” I mumble.    Will talk on the way.  “Fine go get the food and I will armor up”. .  The two leave the room. . . From my saddle bag I pull out an Image stone and set it upon the table.  The stone comes to life and there is a tall woman, Long dark hair pale skin and fangs can be seen.  The curves of a stunning woman can be observed.  It speaks ” I love you ” is all it says.
I rise from the bed, bones crack and snap in to place. .  scars from many battles can be seen.  The scars in my  mind are worse. .  The woman, Vampire really. Is my,.. It does not matter . . . In the silver glass I see a heavy man of many seasons long flowing hair.  Closing the shades  it becomes clear why I disappear in the shadows.   I grab my  Armor, leather chain, leather pants riding boots I sling my twin short swords over my shoulder.  my Ear ring where the hell is it . .  tossing the table to the side there it is and adds it back to my ear. I have few items left. My armor, my two mystical swords, a ring of protection the ear ring and a chains of charms around my neck.  That’s all I have left after the . . . Again it does not matter…  Placing the Image stone back in the saddle bag along with the tablets, pouch of gold.  I tossing 3 gold coins on the table  “I pity the chamber wench that has to clean this place”.
I descend the stairs to enter the main room of the tavern. Blood can be seen on the floor.  Leers from the staff and owner as I enter the room. The Ranger speaks. “and you say I have a bad way with taverns”. I reply “do you ever not have to point out the obvious”. Its “My gift” is his retort. The owner rambles over. . “you, your a menace, beating them half to death, all the mead, the broken chairs and tables….”.  Oh do shut up Rastan. Just give me the damn bill and shut your hole”,… Is my only reply.   Rastan looks me over and says “50 gold!” “Rastan. I could as easily kill you as pay”.  Yes Airister you could. But when you and the riders need a place to stay, would you stay then?”.  “He has a point.” Pipes in the Ranger,… “He is always good for a bed and a Pint.”  “Who’s side are you On Ranger? mine or Rastan’s ?” ” Well that’s Obvious. his.   now pay the man and lets be off.”…”Fine Ranger.”  “Airister. You know You caused the fight. Now pay up and shut up..”  I toss Rastan the 50 gold. “that is also to cover when the constable comes asking questions.” “Fine, fine. Airister I would have taken 30 for it all but. 50 works.”. . . I mumble “I would have paid 100.  I wonder off…”
The light hurts my eyes. 4 mounted riders await.  A Paladin in bright shining armor, a thief in stolen garb,  the Elf and The Gray Ranger. With distain the Paladin looks over.  I see it was another drunk’n night for you.  “Look metal man not all of us live by an honor code.” Is my only reply.  The Thief laughs.  The elf shakes her head.  The Ranger just tosses his head to my horse.  My horse, a mount as black as night. Its  eyes are like coal.  ill tempered much like its rider…..   As they ride out of town.
A woman looks out the tavern doors a large gem in her hand. A queens ransom its value.  Her pay. For a night with Airister. She wont speak of the words, his screams in the night.  The changes he goes through in the dark. The verbal abuse she takes from him.  No she is well paid. Knows he will return and it will all happen again….

First try at Fiction writing how did i do

A silent scream

And from the dark he rises

The Room is dark, The smell of wheat, stale alcohol vomit fill the room.  A knock at the door…” think he is alive” A unseen voice says a female answers ” the bar girl says he was when he paid her” ” knock again…….
the knock is repeated a mug is thrown at the door and shatters. “yep he’s alive”.  Mumbles and more crashing bottles fall and swearing can be heard. The female asks ” should we go in?”  the male voice replies ” ya its almost sunup we should be off.  The Female replies ” like he will be able to ride in this condition”. The male answers “He lives he can ride”
Hearing the knock at the door and the Words he grabs a mug and throws it. The smash ringing in his head He thinks
 Not a great idea. . . another night of nightmares and black sleep of the dead. . did I pay her last night. .  did I pay my mead bill. . . how the hell did I end up in a bed. .  this day will suck. . .
The door opens the Light washes over him. SHUT THE DAMN DOOR he grows  as the two enter the room. . .
The door closes the male speaks ” we ride in a short order, throw up and be done with it or drink more your choice”. The female replies” More drink he drank enough to kill 12 men and you want him to drink more?”
I raise up “I did not drink enough to kill 12 men for I’m still alive. . . why I have no idea”  Issues is he knows why he is alive. . . I look over and to the night table and grab a bottle of tablets.  Pours out a few and toss them in my mouth and swallows them down with stale mead. The male voice answers yes that’s the answer more pills that will do it.  Look Ranger you and the Elf know this is me and you still ride with me…  The Ranger about as tall as a strong horse and keen of eye, beard and speaks little  a light chain shirt and a thin jerkin coves him all in a forest brown.  She is of Elvin decent skilled in many thing prayers, daggers and the bow. A fine chain shines a fine bow and short swords hang at her hip. .
The Ranger draws the drapes.  I role over to avoid the light. The Ranger speaks still amazes me how you vanish is shadows. . . Its a gift Gray can I ask WHY the hell we are riding at this hour. . . The Gray replays well your little brawl last night will not go over to well and we have a job. .  “Joy” I reply “what is it this time” I mumble.    Will talk on the way.  “Fine go get the food and I will armor up”. .  The two leave the room. . . From my saddle bag I pull out an Image stone and set it upon the table.  The stone comes to life and there is a tall woman Long dark hair pale skin and fangs can be seen.  The curves of a stunning woman can be observed.  It speaks ” I love you ” is all it says.
I rise from the bed bones crack and snap in to place. .  scares from many battles can be seen.  The scars in my  mind are worse. .  The woman Vampire really my.. It does not matter . . . In the silver glass I see a heave man of many seasons long flowing hair.  Closing the shades  it becomes clear why I disappear in the shadows.   I grab my  Armor leather chain and leather pants riding boots I sling my twin short swords over my shoulder.  my Ear ring where the hell is it . .  tossing the table to the side there it is and adds it back to my ear. I have few items left. My armor, my two mystical swords, a ring of protection the ear ring and a chains of charms around my neck.  That’s all I have left after the . . . Again it does not matter…  Placing the Image stone back in the saddle bag along with the tablets, pouch of gold.  Tossing 3 gold coins on the table  “I pity the chamber wench that has to clean this place”.
Enter the main room of the tavern blood can be seen on the floor.  Leers form the staff and owner as I descend the stairs. The Ranger speaks “and you say I have a bad way with taverns”. I reply “do you ever not have to point out the obvious”. Its “My gift” is his retort. The owner rambles over. . “you your a menace, beating them half to death and all the mead the broken chairs and tables….”.  Oh do shut up Rastan just give me the damn bill and shut your hole… Is my only reply.”   Rastan looks me over and says “50 gold” “Rastan I could as easily kill you as pay”.  Yes Airister but when you and the riders need a place to stay where would you stay then?”.  “He has a point” Pipes in the Ranger… “He is always good for a bed and a Pint”.  “Who’s side are you On Ranger mine or Rastan’s ?” ” Well that’s Obvious his now pay the man and lets be off”…”Fine Ranger.”  “Airister You know You caused the fight now pay up and shut up..  I toss Rastan the 50 gold “that is also to cover when the constable come asking questions” “Fine, fine. Airister I would have taken 30 for it all but 50 works”. . . I mumble “I would have paid 100 and wonder off…”
The light hurts my eyes. 4 mounted riders await.  A Paladin in bright shining armor, a thief in stolen garb,  the Elf and The Gray Ranger. . . with distain the Paladin looks over.  I see it was another drunk’n night for you.  “Look metal man not all of us live by a honor code” is my only reply.  the Thief laughs and the elf shakes her head and the Ranger just tosses his head to my horse.  My horse a mount as black as night eyes coal and ill tempered much like its rider…..   As they ride out of town. A woman looks out the tavern doors a large gem in her hand a queens ransom in value.  Her pay for one night with Airister. She wont speak of the words he screams in the night the changes he goes through in the dark or of the verbal abuse she takes from him.  No she is well paid and knows he will return and it will all happen again….

And from the Darkest places Kindness is found

Raina 4A DARK NIGHT MARESept1,2014 till Nov 3rd 2015

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Opening to the Radio show “the shadow”

I hate people not a person but people.  What is the different you ask.  Well people are heard animals, reactionary, with a mob mentality, a group think if you will.  A person has independent thought, Ideals, can feel and even has compassion.   The pictures above are of two woman I know. there is one is of me.  The women are all dark, gothic and breathtakingly beautiful.  Each have shown me kindness one I will never meet in person ( well one says never say never) one I dated.  They all have smiled at a stranger and lifted his hopes.  One was gliding down an escalator at Macy’s when My heart stopped.  As stated many time I’m a large ball of arrogant, harsh asshole, with a thin candy coating of charming. The last picture is of me from Sept. 1st 2014 till now Nov. 3rd 2015   I have lost 18 inches and 78 pounds. .   I would grow it all back if I could go back in time for 24 hours and tell MYSELF what the future holds for him.  That would be me being kind to my self.  I still call my self a Fat man,  I tell my self I’m stupid for what I have done. I’m a loser for losing Raina the best thing I ever had.  Hell I could bring my self up on charges for slander. If I was Married to my self I could get a divorce for verbal abuse.  The woman in the pictures have shown more kindness than I have shown my self. For full disclosure one will from time to time say ” that’s great But you still…. ” it’s a left-handed compliment that she is working on stopping.   Kali Noir Diamond a gothic model that have every right to just say “thank you” and never give it a second thought.  What she did, chatted, smiled and gave a kind word to a strange. The Beautiful woman at Macy’s did not have to have lunch with me but she did.  She did not have to invite me to make a life with her but she did.  All acts of kindness to a person that self-abuse.

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Dragon knows!”,

I’m trying hard to stop but I fail. .  a lot . .  I keep trying. . I have started telling friends to stop with the negative help also. .  when I want to think about what if I had done this different….. LET ME for a  min it lessens the pain.. Don’t keep hammering home will did you ever think your meant to be here now so you can grow. .  Yes I think of that often.  So from the Darkest places of the Goth world Three Gothic woman bent over to make an wounded Dragon smile and stand back up.

In plain site for no one see’s the shadows

Waiting

Dragon where have been all my life?

The Dragon’s reply…In plain site for no one see’s the shadows…..

A Dragon of the shadows sits on a wall staring at the full moon. Mumbles “I wonder if she sees the same moon as I do from her distant land???” He still mourns the death a tiny cry echo’s against the stone of the castle walls.  A scream is heard from time to time.  A petulant rant form a scared little boy.   Raymond screams “The dreams scare me the ghost keep me awake.” Raymond’s rant is never-ending ” The Dragon GOD that thinks of no one but him self…”. The child’s words cut at him cut deeper than any sword ever could.  The touch that would quell the child is no longer here.  As the Dagon is lost with voices and echo’s he does not here the approach of second Dragon A indigo blue mountain dragon.   The mountain Dragon Speaks ” So will this be a long painful morning, you could just kill your self or better yet you could take what you learned and Live. You need to make a choice because you can’t do all three”  and silently wings away.   The Shadow Dragon whispers ” I truly hate you”.  The mountain Dragon circles and roars back ” I know’  that’s why we are always there for each other.   The Shadow Dragon taps a Claw thinking.  Looks at the moon again. A tear rolls down his cheek.  And off in the distance is a dark light messages are dropped and sent back.  maybe its time to see what’s out there.  A Shade of beauty and change.   They say they like the Dragon. Want to message the Dragon and maybe talk to the Dragon. .  and the winters chill seems to break a little.  A slight smile can be seen on the Dragon face.  Till the screams and voices and echo’s return but they seem not as loud………………..

A DARK NIGHT MARE