The Roads we travel. . .

the-roads-we-walk

My brother never changes.   His form does, his job may, his looks and even some times his voice but he does not.  He does not talk after a death he carries on.  He will have a time to reflect and remember but he will move on quickly.  After a War, death, long trip, its no questions its to bath and to sleep.  To escape for a time form people and duties he has to perform.  He in a senses is my Mycroft.  The older Brother that has all the answers.  The one that guides.  I the Homes, a junkie that gets off figuring out the why. Why someone says hugs for the world to see, when they love someone else.  A few times a year he leaves and I’m alone.  It’s hard to start with but as each day happens to come and go I under stand me more.  He is him, I am me.  Him Superman for the world to see, Me batman the detective always trying to find the “why”.

Its ok we are different in many ways we are the same in many also.  We are always there when the other needs something.  He hugged me once in this life was the Strange but familiar feeling.  He is one thing to the world another in privet.  But I know that he just wants one thing.  Peace. He fights for peace.  With family and with in himself.  I know only the fight and he tries to temper my rage for even when I fall apart I do it with a violence of pend up emotion.  He just got home and I asked my 2 questions I get before he closes down.  Then its shower and the darkness of sleep.  We all have demons he keeps his beneath him as a learned man will.  I dance with my demons and fight with them.  Love two women.  Both hold my heart. One is the one I want and need, while one is the one I protect and save.  Both love me. One understands.  One never will.  I can’t live my life like my brother does.
I can pick things that work for me but I cant live someone else’s life.  Life is out there. I have hid long enough.  I know that both women love me. They always will one for who I am, one for what I do.  Its taken me life times to understand this and now I’m at peace. I  can go home to the woman I miss greatly.
My brother will be home soon also and he will camp on the front lawn and annoy my Wife.  She knows he is my Brother and like all families there are many colors to it.  from Red to gray/blue to mercury to black even greens.  We all are parts to the whole.  Family is not always who your born or hatched with.  It’s people that will always be there. what is a family? It is not always sharing blood.
Its sometimes. Just being there when there is a need or a call.  No matter how many times you burn down a tavern or forget to pay back the gold.  Use his shield to cook with. Its knowing that the other person will not ignore your call for help even if you don’t know your making the call.

7 harsh truths that will make you a stronger person

A BRIGHT SIDE COPY/ FORWARD THEIR WORK I JUST AGREE

We often find it hard to admit our own weaknesses, and we constantly make excuses for ourselves and others. We spend the majority of our lives waiting: waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to end, waiting for something to begin. But that ‘something’ is most definitely life itself. So why are we waiting? It’s time to face the harsh truth of life and begin to work on ourselves right now without delay.

Today, we here at Bright Side share an article with you that will help you spread your wings and soar to heights you never thought possible.

1. Nobody is actually too busy to respond to you

That boy or girl isn’t too busy to text you back. And your potential employer isn’t too loaded with work to get in touch. Remember, people make time for who they want to make time for. We text, call, and reply to the people we want to talk to.

If you don’t get a response from someone it’s because they have deliberately chosen not to answer you. The sooner you stop making excuses for people who treat you badly, the sooner you can get closer to the people who respect you.

2. Everyone puts their own interests first

No matter how loving, kindhearted, and caring a person is, they will always put their own interests ahead of yours. Even the most attentive lover may not know which ’button’ to push, unless you give them a hint. Even the most honest employer may not be aware they’re driving you into the ground if you keep accepting more work.

Most people just take as much from you as they can get, no matter what. So try to establish your own limits, and don’t allow other people to stretch them. Strong people are not afraid to say ’no’ or speak up when necessary. They know that they have to stick up for themselves because no one else is going to.

3. It’s impossible to keep everyone happy

If you did everything that every single person in your life told you to do, you’d probably go mad or would end up a lifeless, shapeless, emotionless blob.

The truth is, you can never please everyone. You can try, of course, but you will never succeed. There will always be someone who will disapprove of your choices or your way of life. You will be criticized no matter what you do. So make the decision that is right for you, and have the courage to pursue what you feel is right. The only judge you have to please is yourself.

4. The world owes you absolutely nothing

You could be the coolest, the smartest, and the most interesting person in the world but if no one except you is aware of all these wonderful traits, you’ll get nothing out of them.

There are only two basic choices available: you can spend your entire life feeling sorry for yourself because you deserve more than you’re getting, or you can step into the world and take what you want. Guess which choice successful people make?

5. You make excuses for yourself

You can spend your entire life blaming the world or others that you don’t have enough time, money, energy, or resources to accomplish your goals. And while your words may make some sense, actually the harsh truth is that every single person in this world has at least one damn good excuse for not living the life they want.

The people who get the most out of life don’t make excuses. They find ways to overcome obstacles instead of being disrupted by them. This is why they always succeed.

6. Your actions define you, not your thoughts

You can sit indoors all day thinking of a better world for us, but until you get out and start doing something you’re not actually making a difference. The ability to make big plans is a good thing, but unless it is coupled with action towards your goals, then it is all in vain. Remember: we are judged by our actions, not our intentions.

7. Nobody will save you from your life

In life, we are always waiting for something. We are either waiting to meet the right person, waiting for a dream to come true, or waiting for that job callback. When we’re unhappy with our current situation, we irrationally hope for a miracle that will help us to cope with all our problems.

But the truth is that life doesn’t work that way. Problems cannot be solved with a magic wand. If you want to make a change in your life and be more than you’ve been, you have to be the one that takes the steps towards your goals.

The strongest people know this simple truth: when times get tough, you don’t need to wait for someone to help or do something for you — you should rely only on yourself.

GOOD DAY, BAD DAY, THEY ALL RUN TOGETHER…

sad
It’s the start of fall in New England.  Few places I enjoy like here in the fall.  The sun is bright and the days are clear and the leaves are starting to turn colors (colours).  The summer is slipping away.  The summer loves are ending. They all are finding there ways back to the realities from which they came.  I have great days, good days and yes even some bad days.  To day is one of the bad days.  I don’t know why I have them.  It’s this feeling of being twisted, having all the happiness wrung from you like a wet rag.  If I don’t catch it it’s a day of hell.  My mind beating me with every bad thing I ever said or have done.  It’s the this is your shit life lets relive the lowest points that we can.  Remember what you said to you mom.  Hey remember the time with your first wife.  Hey your such a worthless human being that the woman that says ” no matter what we will make it. ” I will never leave you behind.”  Yes you rotten bastard you even drove her away.  I hope the man you drove her too. Now that their married is better to her than you.  Yes this is my mind beating on me.  I have no job, no license, and I want to run.  Run where you ask.  2nd star to the right and straight on till morning.  In a 30 day cycle I have a break down of 20 average days, 4 really great days. That leaves 6 days that came form the darkest reaches of the cave.  The places you don’t look because the bad things live there.  The places that if you walk to close the cold reaches out and grabs you.  It pulls you in and laughs as you sit there.   See the issue is I’m getting more comfortable there.  Because I lived there for months.  That’s not to say it does not suck it just the reality.  I got use to living in the dark.  Sitting in a chair as the darkness comes and envelops you.  The closing in of the dark.  My girl friend would have meeting so I would be alone from 8am till some times 9:30 10 pm.  I would not  turn on a light I would let the dark take me.  She was the light that would save me.  Well that light is some one else’s and I sit in the dark and wait.  So its a Dark Day as I call it.  My room mate comes home and turns on extra lights to help but its already settled in.  I will sleep in a few hours.  I will have night mares about having my dog only to wake up and be alone.  I will hide in bed till its safe to start my day.  Yes there reason she left you are both yours and hers.  She has asked you to forgive your self for the bad and live your life.  I wish I could.  One day maybe.  one day at a time I guess….

A sad truth…

Use to have a friend come and visit me.  She would get there and I would be over joyed. After a while I would look at a clock and calculate how long till she would leave. And become sad.  She asked one time ” why are you sad that I’m here?” I replys ” I’m not I’m sad you will leave in 38 hours.”

She use to get all the candy…

This is where I will lose readers.  But this is for me not them so here goes.   I’m in love with 2 woman.  YES I see the numbers drop as I lead off with this.   One woman is some one that I have not seen in more years that one can count out loud.  She is pale tall dark hair and has a grace and power not often seen.  Her touch is cold.  Her gaze is hard and piercing.  Her tongue is sharp but has a velvet touch.  The kind of woman that can call you rude, fat, obnoxious and you would smile and nod.  She can also convey her utter displeasure and you would apologies with no hard feelings.

The other woman. ( the one that use to get all the candy).  Has a beauty she does not share easy.  I depth she her self has never dared to delve in to its depth.  She has a cold aloof demeanor.  She weald power sometimes with the understanding of a queen and then that of a petulant 6 year old.  Her eyes are haunted by the wrongs done unto her.  Her speech is unfiltered 75% of the time.  But if you can get past this.  There is a love seldom seen. She has built wall  around walls and there is a price of admission to get past each wall.

I love both women deeply.

One brings out the best in me and I have won battles that most have sought imposable.

The other brings out the Dark Dragon.  I vial creature that does not care what it takes, but will leave scorched earth in its wake to protect her.   The issue is that this beast will also turn on her and will return the hurt received 10 fold.  Yes even to the woman he is protecting.  He will be nasty and hurtful and uncaring.   He will not care about her past.  He wont let her reminisce of her past happiness.

This 2nd woman would get all the candy, for a time.  Then the 2nd woman would mess up and the Dark Dragon would start to turn on her.  It would be small slights at first.  But over time they would get harsher and crueler.  Then the time comes to protect the woman and the beast would be ready to level cities in her defense.   The issues is now he is in a Dark blind rage.  And would turn on the woman and destroy the love they shared.  The 2nd woman’s only defense against this is to release the beast.  Drive it off with any means she could.  But secretly cry about it.  She still loves the Dragon but the beast can no longer be with her.  See he is dying, He cant fly the hate and hurt is killing it.  So to save the Dragon she has to make it leave to heal.

The First woman has seen this from a distance for a long time and it pains her.  Its a ying and yang ideal.  Perspective in some cases.  All truth is relative pick one that works.  Is the underlining sentiment of all of my blogs.   The truth is Both woman are part of the Dragon’s life.  The love is deep and strong with both and no matter who or what tells the Dragon that the 2nd woman is not good for him.  He knows the truth.  They both bring out the best in him just one is the Dark best and the other is the Light best.

That is the true nature of a Dragon of Shadows he has no true nature.  He is chaos, he is the light in the bitch black, Or the Dark spot in a bright day.

My best friend one of my brothers. Some people see him as in essence A blue Dragon.  I call him Gray.  For he is my moral compass.  From where I stand he is neutral. A Gray Dragon on a gray Mountain over looking a gray sea with a gray sky reaching the sea below.  Perspective.  We all have it and that’s why mine is mine yours is yours.

I will return to the first Woman.  If I was Sherlock Homes she would be The Woman.  But the 2nd woman I will always love.  Will always rescue if she needs it and will stay for a time, but will leave when things are calm.  They both Bring out the best.  But perspective says its the worst.  History is written by the winners.  In the end most of us are all Good and Bad at the same time.  Example.  You give a homeless man 10 bucks That’s  good of you some will say.  Some will say its bad you have just paid for his vice ( drug of choice )  Whos right.  Both and neither.

My friends will read this and I hope get a better understanding OF ME the Dragon of Shadows.

I can be the nastiest creature on the face of the earth using any weapon at hand to win.

I can be the one making coffee, sneaking you wine after work on a bad day.  The one giving treats to kids when they where told no candy.

  • I was in the USMC and I remember what my Drill would pound into us. ” your first last and always job is to go home”  and he meant alive. 

This is everyone’s goal to make it home after work, a trip, going to the store.  we all want to go home.

The two woman in my life both are needed for they both are my Light and Dark.  My Valkyrie, and My Vampire.  One I will always return home to and one I will visit when she need me.

Fiction : What issues may come.

Chapter 3:What issues may come.

 

A city has a subtle din as  it comes to life.  Carts rattle down the street. Criers start telling the days events.  Draius falls in the wrong window after a night of city viewing.
A scream is heard from down the hall.   An older woman screams yelling get out why are you in my room again. Guards, guards  where are you, get this man out of my room.  A voice can be heard over the womans.  It’s a voice well known to Airister, its Rodman trying to calm the woman down.  Ma’am , Ma’am… MADAM please hush for a moment.  My ward here drinks far to much and often finds his way in to the wrong room.  Draius doing his best to act the drunk. Issue was he was not acting he was so drunk he could not stand, He lay in the room mumble something about fires and large women.
Kas hops out of bed and grabs her robe, knowing full well her father would be there soon.  Airister laid in bed not moving.  Kas, If your father tosses him in jail at least we would know where to find him till he sobers up.  The Gray could be heard also trying to calm the woman.  Dem yelling about how could he do something like this.
Kas looks at her bed mate, Get up and go save your lost dog.  Why do I have to do it, the others are doing a great job at it.
Out side Airister hears Kas’s father approach. It just got real.  He was in no mood.  Something about a break in at the tower, some missing maps and why was the duchess’s carriage out at this hour.
Gabbing 5 pills and the mug of mead from the child he started his day.  Funny no hangover, he slept, Was in a good mood and was humming.
Oh Master Stuberman, You look put out. Kas hung her head it was going to be a ruff day.  She tried to get back to the room before her father, to late.  KASIDAY what in the nine hells are you doing here at this hour.
Airister finishes his mead, and with the might of a frost giant smashes it against the far wall. The smashes echoes in the empty grand hall.  A quiet is heard. Morning Gray, Dem, Paladin(looking down at Draius) and just shrugs. Ok how much,  How much to make every one to shut up.  Madam, I’m sorry. You see the young lad, Is confused you remind him of his lost mother.  That’s why he has wondered it to your room.  Gray would you help the lad into the Water closet and gently help him to recover. The Gray smiles, I would love to, let  me help the poor lad.  Dem will you grab his bag and we will take him to the Water tub.  Dem not at all amused, Moving close to his ear she mumbles, This better be good.  Draius waves his hand unseen by all but the 4 others.
Paladin, Can you take the guards down to the 5th room on this floor. There is a guard posted there.  You will find I’m guessing the Duchess in there.   With a nod he takes the City guard to the room.  The Paladin moving the sleeping guard out of the way, gently tossing him to the floor and stepping on him.
Now Madam allow me to pay for your morning meal, for the lads transgressions.  The older woman with a tear in her eye looks up.  No no.  Its alright, I lost my son in the last war.  Its quite all right.  please see that the boy stops back to my room later.
Saberman is fuming at this point.  he Steps close to Airister,  Kas fearing that Airister looking for a fight dresses fast.
Airister leaning close to Saberman.  Whispers in his ear your daughter is a very interesting young lady.  Now I don’t think the master of the City watch would like the family secret out in the open.  The color washes from Saberman’s face, YOU WOULD NOT DARE.   He says through tight jaw in  hush tones.
Saberman, all is quiet, every person is accounted for.  Your daughter is safer with me than under your watch. I proved this 6 years ago.  Go and protect the peace I will protect your prized treasure.
With a Sigh of resignation he nods.  Kas, walking up to the two man.  My dearest daughter I will send over some clothes for you.  With a kiss on her cheek he starts off.
Airister catches the man on the shoulder, and turns him around.  His hand extended. Saberman looking at the hand, shakes it. With a nod of his head, takes off to his day ahead.
Screams can be heard, coming from a male voice.  Gray Mumble mumble gasp stop, Mumble mumble , I’m mumble mumble  not  Mumble mumble Drunk any more.  laughing Jamend seams not to care and continues dunking his head in and out of a bucket of water.
Dem looking through the sack Draius has come back with.  She seams shocked at what she is reading.  Seams the King of Kitrn’a was not really in need of help. He was in need of  fighters.  His City was soon to be under siege and wanted fighters there to help.
The Gray and Draius looking on as she reads. water dripping from the thief’s hair. Jamend’s hand still on his neck.  The Paladin enters with a story of his own.  The Duchess was looking for an escort back to Kitrn’a.  Three sets of eyes look at Draius, What was the Duchess doing in your room.  Well you see, Draius proceeds to regale the three of them about last nights events. How Airister’s hiring the Duchess as a bed mate for him.  Three loud sighs could be heard.
The Gray says ok, lets all dress for morning meal.  I will go tell Airister what has happened and meet you at morning meal.
A knock at the door, The child opens the door looking up sees the Gray Ranger.  Ruffing the boys hair, Gray asks, horses done? Yes M’lord.  Did you Shine and check the Armor.  No Sir.  And why not young man.  Well Sir you and Dem where sleeping.  The man of god was mad I was there as he was doing words with the statue.  And well I was told not to enter Airisters room, EVER.  With a nod The Gray under stood.  Drops a silver piece in the child’s hand.  Can you do me a favor for a 2nd silver piece.  yes Sir.  Good boy,  go see if any other sell swords are in the town.  OH that’s easy sir.  there are about 50 or so.  The little boy holding out his hand.
A laugh can be heard, it was a laugh the Gray had not heard in many a year.  Pushing his way in, he looks at the Hunter.  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM KASIDAY! In a booming voice.
Easy Gray I’m well, the child is a fast learner.  A look crosses the Grays face.  Shadowhawk? (Its what the Gray called Airister in privet moments.) You are in a good mood. Yes, Yes I seam to be.
At that moment the image crystal glows, a Good Morning Dragon Is heard, the mirth leaves Airister.  The mood thickens, a rage starts to grow in the assassin.  The Gray hands the child  5 gold coins. Go child, pay for the seven meals. also change your clothes, you will eat with us.  With fear in his eyes as he see’s the change take over Airister. He leaves the room.
Why do you keep that thing if it angers you so much.  The Gray reaches for the crystal, a short sword appears between him and the crystal.  leave it Gray, lets not start the day with a fight please. The Gray nods and backs away.  In truth the two had never come to blows before.  The Gray knowing Airister’s killing skills and Airister never wanting to test his brothers metal to see the answer.
Kas, Tell the child to come back in the room.  She heads for the door.  He is long gone, says The Gray .   Kas opens the door, Draius and the child fall into the room.  A look of annoyance and amusement crosses the Grays face.  How did you know, Shadow.  It was easy, The child is a street urchin, Draius is a thief he forgot how to knock years ago.
Child what is your name?  The boy looks down and sways.  Child I asked you a question, tapping her foot.  Airister touches Kasidays arm.  The boy has no name, do you child.  Wards of the church don’t get names.  There just mouths to feed, free labor or worse. this was the way of the world they lived in.  Airister  looks down and thinks. What should we call him.  Draius starts to speak, he is quickly talked over. Do shut up, You have nothing to add, so just don’t speak. The Gray had little use for the sound of Draius’s voice.
Kasiday says Ray.  That is his name. Ray, For he is a Ray of hope.  The Gray was slightly put out, that she had named the child. Its Fine Gray.  All will be explained at meal, Shadow says with an even tone.  The Gray nods and lets it go.
Ray go to the Desk, Have the small dining room set for us please. Gray give him 10 more gold.  WHY? its your request.  I took care of the mess this morning. You pay for the meal. The Gray nods seeing the point and hands twelve more to the child.  Ray leaves the room.  Airister looks over to the Gray.  Jamend? Yes Shadow.  I know you can count, you gave him twelve.  Did I? oh I must be tired.  That was a lie. He never miss counted and was far to giving to the needy.
In the small dining room the table was set.  Dishes, cloth rags for the hands.  Airister tells the serving wench the cheap eating wear. knowing well Draius was eating with them.  Wench if you have wood eating tools that would be great was heard from a voice.
Rays eyes went wide with the food left on the table.  Chicken, duck, and turkey eggs cooked in many ways.  A hunk of meat and watered wine and mead.  A hot drink made with beans from the hill side of the forest Elves.  Ray Trying to hide a hunk of bread in his shirt.
Airister thunks him on the head with a eating tool.  Ray you need not steal food or hide it.  The boy looks sad and places it back on his plate.  Dem looks at the child. Ray do you have a pouch to carry items.  No Miss, was all Ray could say.  Well he needs one she says.  M’Lady Kasiday? Yes Man of God what is it.  Would you take me to the Finest Armor here in the city I need his work.  A look of fear crosses her face.
Airister,  looks over the table and nods to the Gray.  The Gray nods in understanding.  The Gray points to the door, with out a word Draius is at the main entrance.  Ray?  Yes Sir Gray.  Hanging his head with a sigh. Ray you can call me, Jamend , Ranger, Gray, NOT Sir or M’Lord under stand? yes Sir he answers.  A giggle can be heard. A thump on his head again. yes Si… Yes I under stand, the boy whispers.  See the Serving door. yes he says. Good lad.  lay on the floor and watch for people walking in on us ok. Yes Si…… I under stand.
Kas, could you give us some quiet please. She Looks at Airister, Confused.  Please my dear just do it.  With a sigh she stands and finds the middle of the room.  Lifts her hands, chants some words, her hands flash, with a clap of her hands.  A tomb again.  They all look up at Kasiday.  Shadow, stands.  My new traveling partner has a few tricks. Six eyes widen, never before had Airister ever done this before.
Paladin, Kasiday is a Demon.  Looking over at her lover.  Really like that is how you tell every one.  You will pay tonight in the room.  Witch hush please.  She shoots Shadow a glare.  The Paladin laughs out loud.  My Dark brother you may want to sleep in a different room.  Paladin, when I need advice of the heart I will ask Dem.  I need to drink I will look up Draius. I need to be healed I will see you, my Brother of Light, till then Shut up.  Kas, was still uneasy with the group knowing her secret.
Dem looks over. Kas.  Yes M’Lady Demaras. is heard with a squeaky voice.  Kas, I’m Of Elvin and Dragon kin. I keep the Elvin form because its how I am at ease.
Dem looks over to the Gray.  Kasiday? Yes Ranger of the Gray Mountains. all look at her. No one ever used the Gray’s full name.  Steal could be heard being drawn.  Worst of all It was her lovers blade in her ribs that bugged her the most.  How do you know his title Kas, Airister was starting to grow and change as the anger grew.  Looking down.  I knew you all where coming.  I have been watching you for years Shadow.  He reached for the chain on his neck. Her hand touches his.  I have always watched over you. The voice you hear when people are sneaking up on you is mine. Standing 8 feet tall and a tail  6 feet long stands the form of a Dragon kin. Airister had changed with out thinking from the anger he was feeling.  From the other Side of the room Jamen also has changed. Standing as tall as his brother in a blue that was so deep, little except for gems of rare value could match his color.
At the door a large Lycan, with a silver coat.  Canine teeth four inches long, claws, razor sharp, eyes like coal.
The Paladin stands, holding his robe in front of him.  Grows to so tall he has to stoop in the room.  Covering his male parts says I’m part Giant and berserker. I was raised by the church I know no parents, I have no family but them in this room.
Kasiday dropping her dress. changes. The silver strip in her hair the wings and the Black skin and fangs, talons, and a tail. With fear in her eyes she looks over to Shadow who still had his knife in her ribs. My lover, would you mind greatly removing your knife please.
The Paladin speaks, for it was always a vote if some one stayed or not.  Lady of the lower plains.  I will fight beside you for only one reason.  You take the dreams, the pain and the anger from my Brother.  I pledge to protect you as he would.  a nod comes from the others at the table. A whimper is heard from the corner of the room.  all eyes turn to see Ray in fear of the Monsters about the room.
Draius walks over, sniffs the child, returns to the door and Changes back. It was always pain full and with a hangover it was worse.  Reaching in to Airister’s pouch takes out some pill’s.  A snarl is heard from both sides. teeth shown, then both stop.  Draius looks up, Shadow nods.  Draius takes four, places the bottle back in the pouch.
Kas looks over at the two not understanding. the Gray speaks.  There father and son in a manor.  Airister’s First wife was a  lycan. She nods.  The Gray continues, Draius is the best at tracking, finding hidden things, and locating information.
Demaras, walks over to the child. Kisses his head don’t be afraid little one.  There is not a being in this room that will hurt you. The Assassin coughs.   The boy is scared his body seams to sparkle.  Little horns appear.  he try’s to hide them.  Airister laughs, deep and with out fear. the child is of Satyr kin. What a group are we.  Smiles crosses all there faces.
Man of god? Yes M’lady Of dark,  how can I help you.  I will take you to the Elvin-Dwarf later.  As in one voice they all say, what.  The Smithy is of Elvin and Dwarven dissent.  None in all the realm make weapons of his quality. Airister Looks over to the normal sized Paladin, maybe he can make you an armor that will change as you do.  Do you know the Cost of that, Dark Hunter.  With a Sigh, yes I do.   We will figure it out later.   Now tell me all the Dog has found out last night.  They all eat as if they had not just eaten moments before.  Changing had a way of working up a hunger.
Kas? yes Dragon.  We need to talk in the room. a slight pain in her heart.  He was not happy and the chat would not be a joyous one
With the Meal done, even Ray was full. The Gray speaks.  Ok  we need to get supplies.   Maybe we can also get some information about this new employer.  Shadow looks over at Draious.  The old woman would like you to stop in.  He hangs his head, I said I was sorry.  No, No. I said that she reminds you of your mother, that has passed on, She started to cry because you remind her of the son she lost in the war.  Draius nods and understands, he would go make the older woman smile and maybe even return some of the items he stole.
Gray, what’s the plan.   Airisters looking around as if trying to find something.  ShadowHawk, what are you looking for? The Gray asks worried that the spell of silence is breaking.  I need some air is all, Sorry please go on.  Jamend continues,  We will need four more days. two for information, One to supply.  Ok that’s three, what are we doing with the forth.  Today we Rest.  All eyes look at The Gray.  Look, Airister has laughed for the first time in a year, he slept last night, I think we all could use a day or so to remember how to enjoy life.  Kas, slides her hand into Airister’s. She smiles up at him he does not return the smile and removes his hand.
Gray we done? Yes you nasty bastard, why.  Grabbing a bottle of mead he storms out.  Kas hangs her head.  Kas? Yes Draius.  My Father is a nasty man, but he is fair. Talk to him, his last wife did not.  He is hurting and well he does have a kind side we all know it. Don’t give up hope.  She gets up to leave. She is stopped at the door. Kas? She turns around with a slight anger.  What, she snarls.
Why did you give him the scring charm.  Lowering her head, she inhales. I fell in love with him. I wanted to be with him. He would not have it, with me being only 18 winter’s.   So I gave him the charm, so I could feel like I was. I never looked in when he was at his home.  Never looked in on them and their home life. I just wanted to be with the man that saved me.  Is that so wrong.
The Paladin moves close to Kas and hugs her.  It was wrong yes but it was done with no malice and no ill intent.  It was a woman infatuated with her hero.  I will meet you after Mid-day meal and we will shop.  I’m going to pray and Sleep.  With shock they all look at the Man of God.  What? you said a day off and there is a soft bed.  I may be a man of god, but a soft bed and a free day I will enjoy both.
The Gray smiles. Yes time off is what is needed.  Dem looks over at Ray.  Ray come here please.  The child sadly looks at the floor.  Good you have hidden your horns, come we are shopping. She waves to the Gray I will be back.  There is a little boy in need of a horse, saddle and travel gear.  The little boy looks up.
You all are keeping me. Dem stops, with hands on hips speaks in a tone that of a Mother/sister/teacher all in one.  Ray you are not property,  you will travel with us yes, but only if you want to.  Now would you like to travel with us?  But be warned there are dangers and hardships.  We face death all the time and there will be swearing, drinking and brotherly fights.  Now again, would you like to travel with us?  The boy looking up nods, Yes Lady Dem I would like that.  A spark is seen as he claps his hands together.  The child has magic about him, he has quick hands, Maybe he could be of use thinks The Gray.

And from the Darkest places Kindness is found

Raina 4A DARK NIGHT MARESept1,2014 till Nov 3rd 2015

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Opening to the Radio show “the shadow”

I hate people not a person but people.  What is the different you ask.  Well people are heard animals, reactionary, with a mob mentality, a group think if you will.  A person has independent thought, Ideals, can feel and even has compassion.   The pictures above are of two woman I know. there is one is of me.  The women are all dark, gothic and breathtakingly beautiful.  Each have shown me kindness one I will never meet in person ( well one says never say never) one I dated.  They all have smiled at a stranger and lifted his hopes.  One was gliding down an escalator at Macy’s when My heart stopped.  As stated many time I’m a large ball of arrogant, harsh asshole, with a thin candy coating of charming. The last picture is of me from Sept. 1st 2014 till now Nov. 3rd 2015   I have lost 18 inches and 78 pounds. .   I would grow it all back if I could go back in time for 24 hours and tell MYSELF what the future holds for him.  That would be me being kind to my self.  I still call my self a Fat man,  I tell my self I’m stupid for what I have done. I’m a loser for losing Raina the best thing I ever had.  Hell I could bring my self up on charges for slander. If I was Married to my self I could get a divorce for verbal abuse.  The woman in the pictures have shown more kindness than I have shown my self. For full disclosure one will from time to time say ” that’s great But you still…. ” it’s a left-handed compliment that she is working on stopping.   Kali Noir Diamond a gothic model that have every right to just say “thank you” and never give it a second thought.  What she did, chatted, smiled and gave a kind word to a strange. The Beautiful woman at Macy’s did not have to have lunch with me but she did.  She did not have to invite me to make a life with her but she did.  All acts of kindness to a person that self-abuse.

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Dragon knows!”,

I’m trying hard to stop but I fail. .  a lot . .  I keep trying. . I have started telling friends to stop with the negative help also. .  when I want to think about what if I had done this different….. LET ME for a  min it lessens the pain.. Don’t keep hammering home will did you ever think your meant to be here now so you can grow. .  Yes I think of that often.  So from the Darkest places of the Goth world Three Gothic woman bent over to make an wounded Dragon smile and stand back up.

Will we be Ok….

The_dragon_hide

Raina 4insanity Maitress in the shadow

In my head there is Dragon and Raymond. I guess it’s the ID and the EGO if you will. I went insane at some point in my life hard to say just when.  Now before you call Bellview phyc word.  Read the center picture

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

I started doing this at some point in my life and it works for a while but in the end it turns every thing in to a layer of dust, consisting of shattered dreams, futures never reached and promises never kept.  I’m broken, hurting, a recovering fat man, a raging ass with a thin candy coating of charming. ( I’m very self-aware )  The ladies in the pictures book ending the words are people I know in my life.  One is a former Girl Friend and one…

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In plain site for no one see’s the shadows

Waiting

Dragon where have been all my life?

The Dragon’s reply…In plain site for no one see’s the shadows…..

A Dragon of the shadows sits on a wall staring at the full moon. Mumbles “I wonder if she sees the same moon as I do from her distant land???” He still mourns the death a tiny cry echo’s against the stone of the castle walls.  A scream is heard from time to time.  A petulant rant form a scared little boy.   Raymond screams “The dreams scare me the ghost keep me awake.” Raymond’s rant is never-ending ” The Dragon GOD that thinks of no one but him self…”. The child’s words cut at him cut deeper than any sword ever could.  The touch that would quell the child is no longer here.  As the Dagon is lost with voices and echo’s he does not here the approach of second Dragon A indigo blue mountain dragon.   The mountain Dragon Speaks ” So will this be a long painful morning, you could just kill your self or better yet you could take what you learned and Live. You need to make a choice because you can’t do all three”  and silently wings away.   The Shadow Dragon whispers ” I truly hate you”.  The mountain Dragon circles and roars back ” I know’  that’s why we are always there for each other.   The Shadow Dragon taps a Claw thinking.  Looks at the moon again. A tear rolls down his cheek.  And off in the distance is a dark light messages are dropped and sent back.  maybe its time to see what’s out there.  A Shade of beauty and change.   They say they like the Dragon. Want to message the Dragon and maybe talk to the Dragon. .  and the winters chill seems to break a little.  A slight smile can be seen on the Dragon face.  Till the screams and voices and echo’s return but they seem not as loud………………..

A DARK NIGHT MARE