Her eyes are haunted they do not sparkle. Life has been ruff for her. she says ” I’m happier than I have ever been.” The eyes are the windows to the soul. that’s why poker players wear sunglasses.
Why should I care? Why should I wonder about it? I have seen the eyes sparkle. Why should it bother me? I guess you have never given a homeless person a meal. helped an older person with getting any thing from a high shelf. helped a child find mom or a policeman.
We are human and we are suppose to look out for each other. She looks out for me as best she can. Her heart is with an other. She tries. People are people. IF you loved them and it was real. Then there will always be feelings there. UNLESS the end was horrid and was all your fault, then you wont have those feelings.
Some are in relationships that it is of convenience and little else. Some are perfect Illusions to point to a pop hit. Some are so intense they leave scars. Will I ever find someone? The world thinks I will. I’m not looking, I have friends but like the captain of the Dutchman. Its in a box on a shelf being watched over. I can have it any time I want it. I don’t want it at this point in my life. I want to play poker and see things.
I know the person watching it has forgotten they have it. Its covered in webs and dust. Which is fine. When its discovered years from now. It will have the scars of a life partly lived. The note in side will say “the plan did not work. It was flawed but its all we had so we ran with it.” Some loves last eons. Some they write stories over, some are horror movies.
When I go home and I awaken an I look around from this dream. I will see new scars and a face looking back at me. She will say welcome home. The heart will start to beat again. Atrophied muscles starting to work and pump blood again. She will look at me and place a hand on my chest. With a sad look she will know it was a bad dream with a love that did not last. She will kiss my cheek and say there is work to do. She will smile and say and “I have needs also.”
That awakening is years away. There are tables to play. hands to win. A friend I miss with sad haunted eyes. they will say I’m wrong and I’m seeing zebras in a horse stable. But I know her eyes I saw love, hate, and sadness in them all caused by me. I lived in those eyes. Now I live on a couch and play cards.
As I finish this post up. a song makes me smile. On one hand I hear Archer saying “DANGER ZONE. Lana”. On the other I feel the feeling when I have ace high and I push with two kings showing and win.
Yes all this from seeing a friends sad eyes…