How can love be so fleeting?

this side

 How can love be so fleeting?
I gave my heart from me to thee.
I loved & wanted nothing but thee.
My heart was strong & yearned for thee,
But now I know it was a game to all but me.
A Love that was once so special and so dear.
Is Now Nothing but Heart rendering Pain and Fear.
 The Fear turns hurt and a pain that is unbearable.
How can this hurt & pain seam so unending, so terrible?
 The Gods did curse me:
They Bestowed On to me a Horror and sorrow.
Our fairy tale love once so great and so true,
Screams and dies with every memory of you.
My chest before was so full of love and Happiness,
It’s empty and dark A forgotten Fortress.
My Blood now runs cold; my soul a blackened shell.
 Still I look for a sign; one last glimmer of hope:
That will finally end this unending remorse and guilt.
 But alas this book has ended;
Our Love has died;
We are no longer together
 My Blackened heart yours now & forever a parting Gift for you to cherish and always remember.
 A black rose and a dagger your tools that dismembered.
But please always remember, It was you that gave up I never surrendered.

So this is Christmas…..

 

sad

SO THIS is Christmas. . and another year over, but we still have fear… I sit alone and I’m trapped in my head. I’m alone because myself and some one never talked. My anger and well my pushing them away as to not get taken by my metal illness. I feel its like a cold and you can spread it, I know its not that way. I’m not typhoid Mary but that’s how it feels. They have that stunning smile and a glow about them, in some ways I’m glad. Other ways I only wish I could see that look one last time over me. So I start to mold new armor from the scraps of old. A new defense if you will. I read a picture post about some one that tried to commit suicide and found he wanted to kill what happen not him self. I understand that. Everyday I want to get a do over but that’s not this life. We don’t always get over things. Not everything happens for a reason to make is stronger. In those cases we have to carry them, not get over them. To the young lady with the dog.  Don’t take it back others have given up on it don’t add to it’s pain she can help you heal. I hurt, I get up I try, I fail but some times I win. We fall down to learn to get back up. Fall 5 times get up 6. Don’t give the illness the satisfaction of winning. I got this. We got this. So yes this is Christmas, Yule, Hanukkah, add Yours in here (____). Give your self a gift and for one day let it go. If not a Day then 8 hours, if not then 3 hour, or 1 hour or hell 5 mins. and build from there. You got this.

Fiction : What issues may come.

Chapter 3:What issues may come.

 

A city has a subtle din as  it comes to life.  Carts rattle down the street. Criers start telling the days events.  Draius falls in the wrong window after a night of city viewing.
A scream is heard from down the hall.   An older woman screams yelling get out why are you in my room again. Guards, guards  where are you, get this man out of my room.  A voice can be heard over the womans.  It’s a voice well known to Airister, its Rodman trying to calm the woman down.  Ma’am , Ma’am… MADAM please hush for a moment.  My ward here drinks far to much and often finds his way in to the wrong room.  Draius doing his best to act the drunk. Issue was he was not acting he was so drunk he could not stand, He lay in the room mumble something about fires and large women.
Kas hops out of bed and grabs her robe, knowing full well her father would be there soon.  Airister laid in bed not moving.  Kas, If your father tosses him in jail at least we would know where to find him till he sobers up.  The Gray could be heard also trying to calm the woman.  Dem yelling about how could he do something like this.
Kas looks at her bed mate, Get up and go save your lost dog.  Why do I have to do it, the others are doing a great job at it.
Out side Airister hears Kas’s father approach. It just got real.  He was in no mood.  Something about a break in at the tower, some missing maps and why was the duchess’s carriage out at this hour.
Gabbing 5 pills and the mug of mead from the child he started his day.  Funny no hangover, he slept, Was in a good mood and was humming.
Oh Master Stuberman, You look put out. Kas hung her head it was going to be a ruff day.  She tried to get back to the room before her father, to late.  KASIDAY what in the nine hells are you doing here at this hour.
Airister finishes his mead, and with the might of a frost giant smashes it against the far wall. The smashes echoes in the empty grand hall.  A quiet is heard. Morning Gray, Dem, Paladin(looking down at Draius) and just shrugs. Ok how much,  How much to make every one to shut up.  Madam, I’m sorry. You see the young lad, Is confused you remind him of his lost mother.  That’s why he has wondered it to your room.  Gray would you help the lad into the Water closet and gently help him to recover. The Gray smiles, I would love to, let  me help the poor lad.  Dem will you grab his bag and we will take him to the Water tub.  Dem not at all amused, Moving close to his ear she mumbles, This better be good.  Draius waves his hand unseen by all but the 4 others.
Paladin, Can you take the guards down to the 5th room on this floor. There is a guard posted there.  You will find I’m guessing the Duchess in there.   With a nod he takes the City guard to the room.  The Paladin moving the sleeping guard out of the way, gently tossing him to the floor and stepping on him.
Now Madam allow me to pay for your morning meal, for the lads transgressions.  The older woman with a tear in her eye looks up.  No no.  Its alright, I lost my son in the last war.  Its quite all right.  please see that the boy stops back to my room later.
Saberman is fuming at this point.  he Steps close to Airister,  Kas fearing that Airister looking for a fight dresses fast.
Airister leaning close to Saberman.  Whispers in his ear your daughter is a very interesting young lady.  Now I don’t think the master of the City watch would like the family secret out in the open.  The color washes from Saberman’s face, YOU WOULD NOT DARE.   He says through tight jaw in  hush tones.
Saberman, all is quiet, every person is accounted for.  Your daughter is safer with me than under your watch. I proved this 6 years ago.  Go and protect the peace I will protect your prized treasure.
With a Sigh of resignation he nods.  Kas, walking up to the two man.  My dearest daughter I will send over some clothes for you.  With a kiss on her cheek he starts off.
Airister catches the man on the shoulder, and turns him around.  His hand extended. Saberman looking at the hand, shakes it. With a nod of his head, takes off to his day ahead.
Screams can be heard, coming from a male voice.  Gray Mumble mumble gasp stop, Mumble mumble , I’m mumble mumble  not  Mumble mumble Drunk any more.  laughing Jamend seams not to care and continues dunking his head in and out of a bucket of water.
Dem looking through the sack Draius has come back with.  She seams shocked at what she is reading.  Seams the King of Kitrn’a was not really in need of help. He was in need of  fighters.  His City was soon to be under siege and wanted fighters there to help.
The Gray and Draius looking on as she reads. water dripping from the thief’s hair. Jamend’s hand still on his neck.  The Paladin enters with a story of his own.  The Duchess was looking for an escort back to Kitrn’a.  Three sets of eyes look at Draius, What was the Duchess doing in your room.  Well you see, Draius proceeds to regale the three of them about last nights events. How Airister’s hiring the Duchess as a bed mate for him.  Three loud sighs could be heard.
The Gray says ok, lets all dress for morning meal.  I will go tell Airister what has happened and meet you at morning meal.
A knock at the door, The child opens the door looking up sees the Gray Ranger.  Ruffing the boys hair, Gray asks, horses done? Yes M’lord.  Did you Shine and check the Armor.  No Sir.  And why not young man.  Well Sir you and Dem where sleeping.  The man of god was mad I was there as he was doing words with the statue.  And well I was told not to enter Airisters room, EVER.  With a nod The Gray under stood.  Drops a silver piece in the child’s hand.  Can you do me a favor for a 2nd silver piece.  yes Sir.  Good boy,  go see if any other sell swords are in the town.  OH that’s easy sir.  there are about 50 or so.  The little boy holding out his hand.
A laugh can be heard, it was a laugh the Gray had not heard in many a year.  Pushing his way in, he looks at the Hunter.  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM KASIDAY! In a booming voice.
Easy Gray I’m well, the child is a fast learner.  A look crosses the Grays face.  Shadowhawk? (Its what the Gray called Airister in privet moments.) You are in a good mood. Yes, Yes I seam to be.
At that moment the image crystal glows, a Good Morning Dragon Is heard, the mirth leaves Airister.  The mood thickens, a rage starts to grow in the assassin.  The Gray hands the child  5 gold coins. Go child, pay for the seven meals. also change your clothes, you will eat with us.  With fear in his eyes as he see’s the change take over Airister. He leaves the room.
Why do you keep that thing if it angers you so much.  The Gray reaches for the crystal, a short sword appears between him and the crystal.  leave it Gray, lets not start the day with a fight please. The Gray nods and backs away.  In truth the two had never come to blows before.  The Gray knowing Airister’s killing skills and Airister never wanting to test his brothers metal to see the answer.
Kas, Tell the child to come back in the room.  She heads for the door.  He is long gone, says The Gray .   Kas opens the door, Draius and the child fall into the room.  A look of annoyance and amusement crosses the Grays face.  How did you know, Shadow.  It was easy, The child is a street urchin, Draius is a thief he forgot how to knock years ago.
Child what is your name?  The boy looks down and sways.  Child I asked you a question, tapping her foot.  Airister touches Kasidays arm.  The boy has no name, do you child.  Wards of the church don’t get names.  There just mouths to feed, free labor or worse. this was the way of the world they lived in.  Airister  looks down and thinks. What should we call him.  Draius starts to speak, he is quickly talked over. Do shut up, You have nothing to add, so just don’t speak. The Gray had little use for the sound of Draius’s voice.
Kasiday says Ray.  That is his name. Ray, For he is a Ray of hope.  The Gray was slightly put out, that she had named the child. Its Fine Gray.  All will be explained at meal, Shadow says with an even tone.  The Gray nods and lets it go.
Ray go to the Desk, Have the small dining room set for us please. Gray give him 10 more gold.  WHY? its your request.  I took care of the mess this morning. You pay for the meal. The Gray nods seeing the point and hands twelve more to the child.  Ray leaves the room.  Airister looks over to the Gray.  Jamend? Yes Shadow.  I know you can count, you gave him twelve.  Did I? oh I must be tired.  That was a lie. He never miss counted and was far to giving to the needy.
In the small dining room the table was set.  Dishes, cloth rags for the hands.  Airister tells the serving wench the cheap eating wear. knowing well Draius was eating with them.  Wench if you have wood eating tools that would be great was heard from a voice.
Rays eyes went wide with the food left on the table.  Chicken, duck, and turkey eggs cooked in many ways.  A hunk of meat and watered wine and mead.  A hot drink made with beans from the hill side of the forest Elves.  Ray Trying to hide a hunk of bread in his shirt.
Airister thunks him on the head with a eating tool.  Ray you need not steal food or hide it.  The boy looks sad and places it back on his plate.  Dem looks at the child. Ray do you have a pouch to carry items.  No Miss, was all Ray could say.  Well he needs one she says.  M’Lady Kasiday? Yes Man of God what is it.  Would you take me to the Finest Armor here in the city I need his work.  A look of fear crosses her face.
Airister,  looks over the table and nods to the Gray.  The Gray nods in understanding.  The Gray points to the door, with out a word Draius is at the main entrance.  Ray?  Yes Sir Gray.  Hanging his head with a sigh. Ray you can call me, Jamend , Ranger, Gray, NOT Sir or M’Lord under stand? yes Sir he answers.  A giggle can be heard. A thump on his head again. yes Si… Yes I under stand, the boy whispers.  See the Serving door. yes he says. Good lad.  lay on the floor and watch for people walking in on us ok. Yes Si…… I under stand.
Kas, could you give us some quiet please. She Looks at Airister, Confused.  Please my dear just do it.  With a sigh she stands and finds the middle of the room.  Lifts her hands, chants some words, her hands flash, with a clap of her hands.  A tomb again.  They all look up at Kasiday.  Shadow, stands.  My new traveling partner has a few tricks. Six eyes widen, never before had Airister ever done this before.
Paladin, Kasiday is a Demon.  Looking over at her lover.  Really like that is how you tell every one.  You will pay tonight in the room.  Witch hush please.  She shoots Shadow a glare.  The Paladin laughs out loud.  My Dark brother you may want to sleep in a different room.  Paladin, when I need advice of the heart I will ask Dem.  I need to drink I will look up Draius. I need to be healed I will see you, my Brother of Light, till then Shut up.  Kas, was still uneasy with the group knowing her secret.
Dem looks over. Kas.  Yes M’Lady Demaras. is heard with a squeaky voice.  Kas, I’m Of Elvin and Dragon kin. I keep the Elvin form because its how I am at ease.
Dem looks over to the Gray.  Kasiday? Yes Ranger of the Gray Mountains. all look at her. No one ever used the Gray’s full name.  Steal could be heard being drawn.  Worst of all It was her lovers blade in her ribs that bugged her the most.  How do you know his title Kas, Airister was starting to grow and change as the anger grew.  Looking down.  I knew you all where coming.  I have been watching you for years Shadow.  He reached for the chain on his neck. Her hand touches his.  I have always watched over you. The voice you hear when people are sneaking up on you is mine. Standing 8 feet tall and a tail  6 feet long stands the form of a Dragon kin. Airister had changed with out thinking from the anger he was feeling.  From the other Side of the room Jamen also has changed. Standing as tall as his brother in a blue that was so deep, little except for gems of rare value could match his color.
At the door a large Lycan, with a silver coat.  Canine teeth four inches long, claws, razor sharp, eyes like coal.
The Paladin stands, holding his robe in front of him.  Grows to so tall he has to stoop in the room.  Covering his male parts says I’m part Giant and berserker. I was raised by the church I know no parents, I have no family but them in this room.
Kasiday dropping her dress. changes. The silver strip in her hair the wings and the Black skin and fangs, talons, and a tail. With fear in her eyes she looks over to Shadow who still had his knife in her ribs. My lover, would you mind greatly removing your knife please.
The Paladin speaks, for it was always a vote if some one stayed or not.  Lady of the lower plains.  I will fight beside you for only one reason.  You take the dreams, the pain and the anger from my Brother.  I pledge to protect you as he would.  a nod comes from the others at the table. A whimper is heard from the corner of the room.  all eyes turn to see Ray in fear of the Monsters about the room.
Draius walks over, sniffs the child, returns to the door and Changes back. It was always pain full and with a hangover it was worse.  Reaching in to Airister’s pouch takes out some pill’s.  A snarl is heard from both sides. teeth shown, then both stop.  Draius looks up, Shadow nods.  Draius takes four, places the bottle back in the pouch.
Kas looks over at the two not understanding. the Gray speaks.  There father and son in a manor.  Airister’s First wife was a  lycan. She nods.  The Gray continues, Draius is the best at tracking, finding hidden things, and locating information.
Demaras, walks over to the child. Kisses his head don’t be afraid little one.  There is not a being in this room that will hurt you. The Assassin coughs.   The boy is scared his body seams to sparkle.  Little horns appear.  he try’s to hide them.  Airister laughs, deep and with out fear. the child is of Satyr kin. What a group are we.  Smiles crosses all there faces.
Man of god? Yes M’lady Of dark,  how can I help you.  I will take you to the Elvin-Dwarf later.  As in one voice they all say, what.  The Smithy is of Elvin and Dwarven dissent.  None in all the realm make weapons of his quality. Airister Looks over to the normal sized Paladin, maybe he can make you an armor that will change as you do.  Do you know the Cost of that, Dark Hunter.  With a Sigh, yes I do.   We will figure it out later.   Now tell me all the Dog has found out last night.  They all eat as if they had not just eaten moments before.  Changing had a way of working up a hunger.
Kas? yes Dragon.  We need to talk in the room. a slight pain in her heart.  He was not happy and the chat would not be a joyous one
With the Meal done, even Ray was full. The Gray speaks.  Ok  we need to get supplies.   Maybe we can also get some information about this new employer.  Shadow looks over at Draious.  The old woman would like you to stop in.  He hangs his head, I said I was sorry.  No, No. I said that she reminds you of your mother, that has passed on, She started to cry because you remind her of the son she lost in the war.  Draius nods and understands, he would go make the older woman smile and maybe even return some of the items he stole.
Gray, what’s the plan.   Airisters looking around as if trying to find something.  ShadowHawk, what are you looking for? The Gray asks worried that the spell of silence is breaking.  I need some air is all, Sorry please go on.  Jamend continues,  We will need four more days. two for information, One to supply.  Ok that’s three, what are we doing with the forth.  Today we Rest.  All eyes look at The Gray.  Look, Airister has laughed for the first time in a year, he slept last night, I think we all could use a day or so to remember how to enjoy life.  Kas, slides her hand into Airister’s. She smiles up at him he does not return the smile and removes his hand.
Gray we done? Yes you nasty bastard, why.  Grabbing a bottle of mead he storms out.  Kas hangs her head.  Kas? Yes Draius.  My Father is a nasty man, but he is fair. Talk to him, his last wife did not.  He is hurting and well he does have a kind side we all know it. Don’t give up hope.  She gets up to leave. She is stopped at the door. Kas? She turns around with a slight anger.  What, she snarls.
Why did you give him the scring charm.  Lowering her head, she inhales. I fell in love with him. I wanted to be with him. He would not have it, with me being only 18 winter’s.   So I gave him the charm, so I could feel like I was. I never looked in when he was at his home.  Never looked in on them and their home life. I just wanted to be with the man that saved me.  Is that so wrong.
The Paladin moves close to Kas and hugs her.  It was wrong yes but it was done with no malice and no ill intent.  It was a woman infatuated with her hero.  I will meet you after Mid-day meal and we will shop.  I’m going to pray and Sleep.  With shock they all look at the Man of God.  What? you said a day off and there is a soft bed.  I may be a man of god, but a soft bed and a free day I will enjoy both.
The Gray smiles. Yes time off is what is needed.  Dem looks over at Ray.  Ray come here please.  The child sadly looks at the floor.  Good you have hidden your horns, come we are shopping. She waves to the Gray I will be back.  There is a little boy in need of a horse, saddle and travel gear.  The little boy looks up.
You all are keeping me. Dem stops, with hands on hips speaks in a tone that of a Mother/sister/teacher all in one.  Ray you are not property,  you will travel with us yes, but only if you want to.  Now would you like to travel with us?  But be warned there are dangers and hardships.  We face death all the time and there will be swearing, drinking and brotherly fights.  Now again, would you like to travel with us?  The boy looking up nods, Yes Lady Dem I would like that.  A spark is seen as he claps his hands together.  The child has magic about him, he has quick hands, Maybe he could be of use thinks The Gray.

Fiction Chapter 2: The evil that’s within

To Valhala

Chapter 2 The evil that’s within

Kasiday made her way back to the room. She is stopped with a start,  Jamend steps from the shadows.  Evening  Kasiday he says, with no inflection or feeling. Evening Lord Jemend, the hour is late, I did not expect you to be a wake.  I don’t sleep much when Airister sleeps in places like this, he says with a sigh.  Kasiday nods understanding his reservations.  You know what your going to face tonight Kasiday? You know the verbal abuse? The physical harm that could come to you? She nods with resignation.  Why then? you have a warm safe bed not more that a short walk from here.  I will pay for a carriage for you if you like. Jamend says with a tone of sadness.  Thank you M ‘lord but being the daughter of the master at arms, does have some perks. I do thank you though.  I will spend the night with him and keep his secrets, its the least I can do.  With a raised eyebrow Jamend is confused.  Kasiday, why do you watch over him? Kasiday replies that’s a question I’m being asked a lot to night.  Airister did not soil my name the night we first met, in a manor he kept it. She regales the gray with the tail of that night 6 winters ago.  How her escort was jumped. The attackers tried to take advantage of her.  How Airister mistaking her for some one else, in a drunken and drug induced haze.  The money he gave me was for my silence over what I saw later that nigh. also for  the families of my escort.  Jemend smiled at yet again more tails of Airister’s utter lack of control with the dispersion of  his gold. A fact that most would say was a fallacy.  Jamend what is he haunted by? what are the dreams? His screams. what caused all of that.  Jamend looked out over the great room, as if looking back through the  vail of many winters. He thinks to him self, if she only knew how old they really where. Would she still ask these questions. My brother is haunted by many battles. Of many needless deaths and of the Woman. Is all he would say. Kasiday nodded and took her leave. Jamend watched her walk away.  He sighs.  He knows the screams will soon come, The sounds of breaking furniture. The sounds of verbal abuse would soon start. Wondering how much the cost would be in the morning. His thoughts are broken by A cross voice from his room. Are you coming to bed and at least trying to sleep, the female voice asked. Yes, Yes I’m coming.
As Kasiday reached the room, the paladin was out side of the room. He is mumbling words.  His hands are a glow as he touched the door.  What are you doing Kasiday asked, wonderment in her eyes.  Beg pardon M ‘lady Saberman, I had thought you had went to your room for the evening.  Well I want to. As soon as you move away from the door, Man of God. Kasiday said with an indignant tone.  But, but, but, M ‘lady you are not a Tavern girl or a girl of entertainment, why will you take his  bed?… After being asked this same question for the 3rd time this night. Her retort was cutting and meant to sting.  He is a great lover, I like it ruff, now step aside man of God.  An, Paladin what was the prayer you where doing at this door.  A simple locking ward. I have learned to lock him in and the world out. I do it every night.  Kasiday lightly touches the Paladins cheek.  Why does a Man of God do such a thing for a man the world thinks you cant stand.  With a looks as if she has slapped him, he looks up and says. M ‘lady he has saved me many times in the past and I’m sure will again in the future. He is not evil like most think, nor is he good. He is what he is.  I will help him in any way I can.  With a smile she nods and asks How do I enter the room now that you have locked it? The Paladin points to the door being a jar. It will take hold when the door is shut for the last time.  Good rest man of God. I will take tonight’s watch for every one… With a nod the Paladin turns and heads to his room.  As he walks by a curtain he stops looks down and there are the boots he knows all to well.  Draius its time to be asleep. You have stolen enough for one day.  With a wiry smile Draius looks up at the paladin. Why father, you care,  that’s so nice.. As the words left his mouth he dives for the floor… floating in mid-air he wonders what has happened.  Rodman had the thief by the cloth shirt and was now dragging him back to his room. A wave, night pretty lady was all Draius could muster as he was thrown in to his room and the door locked.
Entering the room the only light is the Image stone. There, a female vampire form floats above it. It repeats over and over again “I love you.”  Kasiday glides across the room.  Standing in the middle of the room. She drops her robe. Raising her hand, starts to chant as the wind picks up.  Her hands start to glow. With a clap of her hands, all noise stops. nothing from the out side world can be heard. No carriages, no yelling drunks.  It’s as silent as a tomb.  From out of the darkness, a blow from an unseen hand catches her across the face.  It has started. Airister is a sleep, but he is haunted, he’s looking for a fight. Kasiday looks around for any sign of movement, but there is none. A second blow, she gets hit again.  Thinking fast she mumbles a new chant, a flash goes off.  She rolls out of the way, as a chair crashes down where she once laid.  Blood dripping from her nose and cut under her eye. As the flash fades away, Airister vanishes once again into the shadows.  Thinking quickly she pleads for help from the attackers.  “Won’t some one help me”.  A calm comes to the room, the sounds of two swords are drawn. They flare, as the swords come to life. There glow reveals a figure. It’s not human.  It standing as tall as a draft horse. With silver-gray skin, scales can be made out. She crawls over to the creature, hugs it’s leg.   In a gravel voice, woman, where are these attackers??
Kasiday seams to slide between the beast’s arms, touches his face.  Airister, you need to wake. She whispers in his ear. The beast seams to sway and shake his head.  You are having night visions again, its ok.
Airister, shakes the sleep away, looks about the room. A smashed table, broken bottles and a chair in many pieces.  Then he looks at Kasiday. There he sees a bruise, the blood dripping from her face.  He hangs his head. The demons had taken his mind again. Again he was raging.  Again he had lashed out. Once again caused pain to someone only trying to help.  Walking over to his saddle bag, he pulls a bottle from it.  Hands it to Kasiday, he cant look at the woman’s face. He cant bare to see the marks left there by his hand.  She looks at the bottle, then at Airister with a confused look….
Its not poison witch… just drink it…  He heads back to his saddle bag, and pulls out a sack of coins.. as she drinks from the bottle and feels a warm glow. She feels her face tingle, the damage seems to fade. She seams to feel younger  as if a year or so has been removed.  Turning back around Airister notices the bottle he gave her. Shaking his head, he mumbles “I need to read not just grab.”  Looking again in his saddle bag.  The saddle bags, seams to know no depth. He find a second bottle with a differ writing on it. He hangs his head.  Well my dear it seams I have given you the wrong bottle, but here take this one also.  Handing her a pouch along with the other bottle, he says I will call you a carriage to take you home.
The woman stands, a gust of wind blows the curtains to reveals a curvy and buxom young woman.  Airister, where I choose to sleep is my own concern. I’m tired of MEN telling me where I can sleep. NOW, you will wash your self, then meet me in bed.  Now move.  He mumbles, a yes Ma’am. The creature glides to the water closet, washes.
Kasiday, mumbling more words. The table and chair are fixed, the bottles are swept up.  The rooms seams to have suffered no damage.  Confused Airister looks at this woman in utterly amazement.  Kasiday kissing his lips, it’s magic my shadowy scaled lover.  Now to bed and soon to sleep.  Airister was confused, then  he realized he was just told it was time to apologize,  he was just told how it would be done……
Airister walks to the window as a form known all to well hides in the curtains. Grabs Draius by the neck. Now you can go to bed in your own room and stay there, or I can chain you up, and hang you from this window. Its your choice.  Before Draius could answer. Airister, looking down at the street. Sees a full figured lady of nightly entertainment walking by. She is dejected for not finding a mate for the night.
With a shrill whistle, louder than he meant to. He trys to get the woman’s attention.  It went  unheard, she walks on.
Confused he sticks his head out the window, holding Draius by the shirt out over the street whistled again.
This time she stops and looks up. Wench do you have a place to sleep tonight? Saddly she shakes her head no.  Ask the man at the door to step out here for a moment. The thick woman returns in a moment with the front door guard.  Airister tosses down 4 coins. He says, have the lovely lady go to, {shaking Draius like a rag doll} to his room. You will post a guard. See to it that no one leaves the room.  3 coins for you and one for the guard at the door of ( again shaking Draius) his room.
The woman looking confused, looks up. You will get your 3 coins in the morning. RIGHT THIEF?  But Airister  3 coins you did not even negotiate.  Pulling the thief close, I could drop you. Better yet told her 10. Now back to your room thief.  For Goddess sake Draius, steal her nicer clothes for morning meal.  Airister drops Draius on the railing. The thief finds his way back to his room.
As Airister turns feeling the gaze of an angry woman. He turns to see a freshly powdered woman with painted lips and dark eyes.  Well is all she said and tosses her head at the bed.  Airister starts to wonder who’s the hunter and who’s the hunted….. Looking over to Kasiday. why can I not hear the street? even with the windows open? She smiles, Its a simple spell we can’t hear the outside, the outside can’t hear us.  She blows the oil lamp out.  Looks at Airister then the Image stone then at Airister. Reaching over to the image stone, its placed back in the saddle bag and the room is once again dark.
Kasiday laying close, the  feeling of scales against her skin. Airister? yes Kasiday.  Airister what are you, I mean what is it you change into. In the light you look human. In the dark or shadow you vanish.  Airister slides from the bed. Not all that open about regaling people with is heritage. The woman once again chanting a spell, Her eyes glowing this time, they seam to stop and the room goes dark. Airister sits in darkness Seeing with the clarity of day light.  Not the inferred that the Drow and other creatures of the under world used.  No his eyes where not like others. He thinks, Ok so do we tell her the whole story or just parts of it, Do I enjoy her enough to trust her or just…., She speaks again. I can see you sitting there in the dark.  Confused no one sees Him in the dark how is she.  Thinking back he remembers her glowing eyes, more magic.  I’m going to have to watch you aren’t I? He states more to him self than to her.
Airister, I asked a question. I see your not giving up, are you? Kasiday laying on her side, exposed to Goddess and all to see her shape.  My dear, your body will not make me talk more. So you can cover up. Why does it bug you.  Seeing me with out cloths covering me, I care not. He sighs and sees yet again an argument he wont win, one of the many reason he pays for his nightly companionship.  A small flame appears and the air is filled with a soft smoke.  Looking over Kasiday has a short, rolled, leaf between her fingers.   Does your Father know you indulge in Dwarven ways.
Does the world know you are a Creature not a Man in the shadows and at night? Ok Point well taken.
I’m A Dragon, Kas. It was out in the open for one more to know his secret.  Now would he later have to kill her to keep this secret or would she keep it.  Kasiday stands, Dragon look at me what do you see?  A beautiful Lass of 21 winter, I mean 23 winters. Why do you ask Kas.
She stands. Starts to shimmer, as a streak can be seen in her hair. Her skin turns black as wings  form,  fangs appear.
Airister has seen a form like this before.  Not a normal sight in the land of men, But often seen in the lower plains.  Your a Demon, he says with little tone or fear.  This does not bother you?  he laughs.  My dear. I married a Vampire. I my self a Dragon, so you being a demon. ya, not a deal breaker.  She exhales, See we all have secrets.  If you only knew Kas, if you only knew.
Do the others know about your condition.  Really, Kas, just really.  My condition,  what its a cold? A case of leprosy? Are the others special? Kas, just stop digging.    You sound silly.  The others will talk when they are ready.
In truth yes they were all special. Each in there own way.  They had human forms so they could live with humans and not draw attention to them selves.
I heard tell Of Drows Now living in the light.  They follow a kinder Goddess. The realm has changed over many thousands of winters.  Some good, some bad, but hey.
Gems, Gold, silver, copper, and platinum are still used.  Magic is still all around, it has changed but still here.  No longer can you just learn it you need to be born from it.  Or have it in your bloodline.
Airister sniffs the air. A wet dog smell is faint but grows.   With a short Snap Airister tell Kas to change back and tosses a blanket over her.
Airister is standing at the window.   Draius hides to the left of it thinking he is unnoticed.  What do you want thief You should be with your friend for the night.  Well Dragon, a look crosses Airisters face.  Draius continues. Its long into the night no one can hear.  I’m sure your bed mate knows the truth by now.
I will throw you over the edge if you do not come to a point soon.  I need to do some Info gathering.
Draius you could not find intelligence in a library.  What are you getting at.  I think we are on a fools errand, he states.
In truth If there was one thing Draius could do, was find out every ones little secrets.
Dragon, how do you know where I am all the time? You smell like a wet dog, Draius.  Humans have not the nose we do.  Oh and tell your demon lady friend her secret is safe with me. Airister sighs.  Draius  shut up and go learn things. Back by early meal.  Make sure your friend is SLEEPING, we don’t need another dead body in your room.
Stepping back in to the room, Airister looks at a very unhappy Kas.  How long was he out there for? asking in a foul tone.  Well with the wind at this time of year.  I would say about 1/4 of a candle give or take.
Look Kas, If there is one thing the Dog can do is keep secrets.  Yes he babbles, but not about this. She draws again On the weed roll and exhales. You better be right.  A fire Rages in the Dragons eyes.  Kas, I like you. I will kill, you as easy as I breathe if you question any one of my friends again, understand?  With a nod she agrees.
She has seen first hand the rage he is capable of.  Few will rip a mans chest cavity open, looking for a ring that was swallowed. She shivers. Never out side of the lower realms has she seen this rage.
Kas. yes Dragon.  You don’t have to stay in your human form at night with me.  Just keep your wings closed, ok?
She smiles and nods. He makes his way back to the bed. Sounds can be heard coming from the out side world.  Kas,.. your spell is ending, how often can you cast it.  A fanged smile appears.  As often as I like Dragon. why do you ask?
Well I want to sleep. An you can get loud, we don’t need to wake guest four rooms down, do we? No Dragon is all she says.
Drawing again on her flaming weed.  Dragon? yes Kas.  The Paladin what will he say?  Little if any thing. Why do you ask.  Well the whole Paladin/Demon thing.  OH that issue.
The Paladin has his own issues. It will be of little matter to him.
In truth it was an issue, but many winters ago.  The paladin and the hunter had a discussion about Airister’s dating habits.
An uneasy truce was reached.  Well in truth a verbal lashing from Jamend,  Really ended the issue.
The ringing of steel had disturbed the gray.  This was not done.  So he had ended their chat with a rather large electrical storm.  A man in metal armor and a man holding twin swords will listen as lightning is flashing around.

VENTING

I need to vent a moment. we have 22 vets a day deciding to end their lives .  But what is one of the larger news……… Coffee cups. yes Coffee cups.  So in essence. A disposable cup you have for 2 hours max in your day is worth more than a Human Life. .  It’s not us that’s wrong its the outside world i swear it is. .  your Theological view is wonderful i wont bring up mine.  Maybe if ptsd, depression, bipolar and suicide  from the later gets talked about as much as a red cup maybe just maybe we wont feel like Lepers.

Will We be ok??????

Rainas DragonThere is a little girl and she has her Dragon.  The Dragon is feared by many, is unlikeable and has many scares.  The Dragon found the little girl is a place that had many wonderful things to see.  Also many nasty and horrible places also.  The little girl lived in a home that she was unloved and treated badly.  She was a slave and could see no way to be free.  The Dragon came to give the little girl strength and love.  The little girl found the courage to stand up to the troll and force him out.  As time went by the little girl grew up.  It was time for the Dragon to fly once again. So the little girl sent the Dragon away to find happiness.  The Dragon was sad  but moreover he was proud of the fact he has saved the little girl.  To give some one a chance to be free and to love is the greatest thing a Dragon could do.  The little girl still talks to the Dragon.  Still calls to him, still love the Dragon.  In time may call the Dragon home.  Till then she know she has a Dragon.

There is a Little boy scared lonely.  He finds a Vampire cold and aloof, hiding in a dark castle.  The little boy knocks and knocks till the Vampire come out to send him a way.  The little boy scared and lonely would not leave. The Vampire grows to love the little boy and has him move in.  Over time the little boy becomes bratty.  The Vampire becomes busy.  They each try to get the others attention but they each fail.  Till one day the little boy being a brat opens a window.  Sun light shines on the heart that was theirs.  The sun shatters the heart and the Vampire send the boy away.  The Boy sit out side the castle wanting to go back in.  There is another in the castle with the Vampire now.  The Vampire loves the little boy. Talks to the little boy.  But loves another boy.  So someday the little boy may go back in the castle only time will tell.  The Vampire says ” I will always love you, Little one.”  The little boy put on a brave front but once again.  He is cold and lonely and misses the days of Wine and roses. The Vampire will always be there for the little boy. But the little boy will no longer be able to hold her hand or touch her.

This is the two sides to the same story.  We all have different personas.  The Bratty boy is also the Dragon.  The Vampire is the Little Girl.  The view is different but still the same outcome.  Kiss good morning, Hug often. Talk.  A sad little boy/girl misses their Vampire/Dragon.

Fiction Chaptor 1

Goth chick

Chapter 1 the Road ahead

As they ride the Gray speaks. . . So here is the job.  From the back the Paladin, Yes is it for My God and his fine work.  No its for money and for the thrill is all the reply he gets.  Jamend The Gray Ranger continues.  There seams to be a need for us to find the reason the King of Kitrn’a is losing men and life stock.  Airister, In foul mood says.  What is the pay for this monumental task.  Rodmon the Paladin, says What ever the pay is we shale give 3/4 to the Gods and the work they Do.  The hell with, For Your God.. You give what you want its a 5 way split.  Is the Elf’s reply.  Demaras of the Elven royal House of silver.  A long title for such a woman but Dem is the fast version.   Draius The thief starts his non stop babble. He is in love with his own voice. .   Draius. Would you still be able to talk with an Arrow in your neck? I don’t think so Replies Draius why do you ask Jamend.  If you don’t shut up we will find out retorts Airister. .
They Argue and bicker as they ride, gallows humor.   Their outlook for they all know at any time life could end. well for the others, Airister is different he has been cursed.  The God of the dead will never allow him the peace that is death.  This group has traveled often together. Sometimes they travel to their homes.  Often regrouping when life gets boring. Or a break is needed form their mundane home lives.     Airister is no longer welcome at his home.  The road is it for now.  Drinking to much. To many tablets.  The love of tavern girls is what he has now.  His life, his home, all gone and with little chance to be reclaimed.  The anger and hurt of a female vampire.  Her suffering is not easily forgiven.  She has the Castle, the Animals.  He has the items on his person.  Dem rides close to Jamend. Can he be counted on. I mean he’s a mess, he is a drunk, he smells, takes to many tablets and is very angry.  Dem! he is what he is replies Jamend.  He is a decent Ranger.  A dirty fighter.  He  does all the nasty work that needs to be done.  Answer me this Dem.  When there is a fight would you rather him be fighting in front of us or not there.   In front of us Jamend that’s a silly question. No Dem the Silly question was can he be counted on.  She nods with a snort and slides back, in order.
The sun rows high in the sky. Hey Gray, can we find a nice clean stream to stop at.  Why Airister? is it bath time, Pipes in Draius.  No thief, but next time you pick the wrong pocket.  I may not be so fast to step in.  Now Shut that wine hole of yours. Was Airister’s reply with a foul look.   Airister knew that the thief was right.  He could not remember the last time he had scrubbed {lack of a better word} skin was.  Hey about 1/4 sun movement from here is a town.  Gallows tree I think its called.  Lovely name, I think I will get a summer home there pipes in the Paladin.  Really Paladin just really.. is the reply from a voice in the crowd. . Look If we stop there for food and the night I will bath and even clean my armor, Deal. Fine Airister but No brawls and no women and no mead.  Jamend you get 2 of the 4.  We all agree on the bath and armor.  Now pick 2 of the last 3.  The gray shoots Airister a look that would freeze running water.  Shower, no Brawls DEAL? Deal Jamend.  Draius rubs his hands together, joy a new town. Yes Thief and with no brawls you get caught steeling your on your own got it.  Speaks the Paladin. Oh yes your oh shiny one is Draius’s only reply.  Dem shakes her head in dismay she knows the truth of this night ahead.  There will be drinking, fighting, stealing. A crusade and that’s all before the sun will set. .  She prays that just once it will be quiet.  That she and Jemend can rest and not be disturbed.  With a bad thief,  an over zealous Paladin,  a raging dark ranger, looking to hurt something more than he hurts.  The chance is very slim.  But maybe just maybe.
As they road into town. Draius says, we seam to be drawing attention to our selves.  You don’t say, is Airister’s reply.  What was your first clue, the guards Drawing their bows? or the metal wall in front of us.  They looked up to see in front of them a  wall of armed guards,  archers on top of buildings. Rodmon speaks, Airister why do I get the feeling this is your doing.  Why do you always blame me.  Halt and state your names and why you are here.  Dem Pipes up, we are simple travelers that  just seek food, a bed and a bath for one of our companions.  The Master of the guard walks past Dem and Jamend.  Past Draius and Rodman.  Standing at the side of Airister.   Looking down, hello Greeting Stuberman you look well. .  IN a loud and unyielding voice Its Sabermen and you know it you slimy bastard.  Here,  Here  Stuberman you still all worked up over the last time I was here.  How was I to know the wench was your daughter.   I paid her well, more than you make in a year as I remember.    The master of the guards reached up to pull Airister from his mount. Well tried to for as the master of the guard reached up, Airister slid off his saddle.  In a blaze of steel.  Airister had a short sword under Sabermen’s Chin.   The Paladin whispers I knew it all the time. why did he have to do minitor dung here.  The 3 others all sat not moving knowing that this could turn ugly in a heart beat.  Now Stuberman we can talk about this like gentleman.  Right.  What would make this write with you besides me not killing you right now.  Sabermen looking up a sword point under his chin.  Well for one your word not to see her again and that its a short stay. .  Reaching in to his saddle bag grabbing a hand full of coins how about this…  Take this 25 gold pieces, toddle off and be a good Guards  men.   Leave me alone.  Airister moves closer and whispers in his ear. I’m sorry for your family’s honor.  Now take the gold, there is 50 there not 25 keep the other 25.  Buy your family some thing nice.  let me and my party have a quiet evening.  We will even go to the Tavern of your choice so you know where we are.  Reluctantly the master of the guard agrees.  From the crowd a young girl screams.  Airister  you have come back.
A raven haired lass, bounds from the crowd.  Pushes past the master of the guard.  Father leave Airister alone, he was good to me. He did not hurt me.  Now stop and go protect the piece.  The Raven haired woman , with tan of skin.  Not from working fields.  From the pampered life of the middle class.  The silk dress did little to hide her curves,  even less at hiding her cleavage.  With out a word she plants a kiss on Airister’s lips,  pulls him close.  Airister stands there arms at his side.  As the girl comes up for air he speaks.  Um, M’Lady Sabermen.  Your father has asked that we not see each other.   I will respect his wishes.  Draius pipes in, WOW that will be a change.  As a back hand from the paladin knocks the thief from his horse.  Kasiday looks to her father.  Father I’m of 23 winters old I will see who I please.  Airister chokes as he thinks back to when he was last hear.  Three, no Five, No six, yes six years that would have made her seventeen + winters old this is not a good way to start this trip.
Master Sabermen escorts them to the tavern. .  Really  Stuberman. The winged horse this must be the priciest place in town.  Rodman smiles clean sheets, clean water ,real food. .   yea and really pricy,  you Shiny man of low intellect, Airister says in a huff.  As Airister looks around it dawns on him why this place. .   Plenty of places for archers to watch and the gaol was in view.  So was the master of the guards  house.  Dem pipes in we can share rooms ..   NO can be heard from three of them.  Airister sleeps alone except for the paid wenches and mead. The paladin would not sleep with a thief.  well the thief was known to bring ill gotten items back to his room along with some women that would steal a dead man’s teeth if they had value.
Airister looks to Jamend. .   Ok we each pay fifty – fifty, you pay for Dem.  We split the paladin and I will pay for the thief. Deal?  Deal is Jamend’s reply with tone that could only be one of resignation and loathing.  The thought of the cost of this night was not a pleasant one.  Look at it this way Jamend, Airister will be clean and we know there will be no issues with the thief or the paladin, states Dem.  Jamend knows the truth, the thief will be in and out of every room by the time dinner is cooked. The paladin will have talked to every working girl about there sinful way of life. With  Airister….. Jamend shivers at what this night will bring.  Already   Kasiday  had Airisters saddle bags in her arms.  She had ordered 4 rooms with water closets. She told the desk a story Dem and Jamend are Married. this night was going to be long, not with out blood shed, with the possibility of a dead body at some point.
Kasiday had ordered a bath for Airister.  he had his armor off and hanging on the rack.  Kasiday had paid a street urchin 3 silver, to scrub and pick the dried ichor out of the chain and rivets.  As night fell and the dark crept in to the room Airister vanished.  The child and Kasiday look around for they can not see him.  Child? did he use the door.. No mum, he was at the window.  The sound of water splashing can be heard, Kasiday blinks.  Airister how did you walk past us to the tub of water?  He shrugs, says  you must have blinked.  A knock at the door A voice is heard, “dinner in 1/4 of a candle.”
Airister? yes Kasiday. where are your clothes. . . Airister slumps down in the water.  He has no clothes only the armor on his back.  Nothing that could pass for dinner in a place like this.  Airister I asked you a question.  I DONT HAVE ANY was the reply… Kasiday looks at him.  What do you mean you have no clothes.   Draius falls in the window.  He was asked to leave his home and only took what he could carry.  A bottle flies across the room glancing off the thief’s head. OUT, GET OUT you little bastard.  The street urchin looks up, “me mum?”…. No child you stay, Thief out with you.  Kasiday frisks Draius  and sends him out the door.
Looks in at the washing man and says. So your homeless.  Yes, Do you want to tell more people.  Maybe we can tell the town crier.  Have it as table talk down stairs.  He stands and water beads and rolls off.  Not drip like on other men.  Kasiday says give me 5 coins.  Why is the reply. Airister, you need clothes I will send for some. Fine, is his reply.  Nude and with out a care he walks out from the well lite water closet. Vanishes as he hits the darken room.  A clink of coins and he walks back in and seams to reappear.  The street urchin gasps.  Airister tosses him a gold coin for silence.  Kasiday looks at him how do you do that. Its a gift is all that comes from his lips
Draius, as expected was in and out of every room.  Picking up a coin here, a broach there.  A pearl pin.  A fine long sword caught his eye as  he enters a room.  Just then an older woman enters the room from the hall.  He hides as the woman undresses and washes with the help of a water bowl and pitcher.  Draius was trapped. He was going to be there a while and he know it.
Jamend and Dem also chose to wash and clean up. For who knows when warm water and soft cloth would be at hand again.  Jamend know this was not going to be good.  He knew Airister’s had issues and was not really ready to take on the city guard.  When Airister’s  Issues would come to light.   Dem asks, what eats at HIM.  She would not use Airister’s name.  It was HIM,  HE , some times the dark one.  Jamend says, it’s the wars and the loss of her.  Well the wars have been over for some time.  Well he needs to move on from her.  Jamend shoots Dem a glance.  Yes, yes please say that again at dinner.  We have not had a brawl in over a day its high time we have one again.  Jamend knew that Airister’s losing of his home was the fault of his and the Vampires equally.   But that does little to ease the pain Airister felt every moment awake or a sleep. Dem askes  Why does he dwell so?   Jamend just shrugged it off. He knew why and would stand with his brother no matter what.  Even if Airister was at fault.  They dressed In Elvin robes an clothes and headed to the Paladins room.
The Paladin naked, kneeling to a figurine that seams to move.  He talks out loud, but no sound can be heard in return. Yes great One it shale be done I will convert 2 wenches this night and a guard to your calling. Yes Great one Airister still travels with us as does the thief.  I shale not abandon them you can’t ask me to. Oh thank you great one your Grace is overwhelming  and  generous.  A knock at the door.  Rodman dinner.  Is heard from the Gray Ranger. I am in need for Clothes and I will be down.  A water  falls over him but does not make the floor wet and he stand clean and quaffed. Thank you All mighty one for your generous gift you have bestowed.
A knock at the door of Airister’s room.  Evening meal the Gray calls in.  No reply comes. He knocks again and enters.  What he finds he can not help but laugh.  There in dark pants, a frill shirt and short coat stands a washed and dried Airister. Really For the love of God and Goddess, REALLY you laugh.  That’s it I’m taking it off. Kasiday stands and says fine take it off.  I will tell the whole tavern you had relations with me when I was 17 winters old.  He sighs with resignation, you know its not true.  You had turned 18 when we met. Kasiday smiles,  I may have been off a month or two who is to know.  Airister sunk lower to the floor.  I may be ill is all he can say.   Jamend looks at the clean armor, boots, the oiled leathers,  shoulder holsters.  looks at the street urchin.  You,  child do you have a home? Parents? Can you feed and water horses?   No,  None, and Yes was all the child said.  Fine you now travel with us.  You are to feed, water,  brush the horses and clean armor we will feed you and clothes you.  Really Jamend and whom will pay for his up keep. .  It will come out of the general fund… Airister knew that look from his brother, that meant we all chipped in and took care of it.  Fine But he sleeps with the horses. .  Not my room, Airister stated.  Jamend looks over, yes your horse will love that. .  a sigh can be heard from Airister.  Kasiday, go buy the boy a bed in the common room.  Kasiday smiles, taking the boy by the hand.  Kasiday, before you take him down there.   Airister sighs, wash him, get him some travel clothes.  As he hands her 10 gold coins. 1 is for his pocket 2 are the bath 2 for the bed and 5 for clothes and travel needs.  That’s the spirit Airister see it feels good to help does it not.  No, it does not Jamend, it feels like I have a hole in my saddle bags.
The party meets in the main hall for dinner.  Kasiday in dress of silk.   Airister in his coat, matching pants and dark shirt.  Jamend knows there will be no wenching tonight for Airister.   Kasiday has her claws in deep.  Dem is taken back by the way He has cleaned up. The Paladin and the Thief both showing up at the same time.   Rodman holding Draius by the back his the neck.  Found him in a room with a woman screaming.  I did not look as she washed was all the thief could say.
The child stands at the table.  Clean, new clothes.  Who is this asks the Paladin.  Another mouth to feed I see.  For a man of God you have little compassion for the poor.  Rodman shoots Airister a glair.  Who is paying for the child?? Jamend  says we all are, now, Shut up and stop being the ass that you are.  The boy held the chair out for the ladies.
He moves to Kasiday’s side and waits.  Airister Waves the boy over.  Whispers in his ear and slips him a silver and the boy rushes off.  What was that about. Nothing Dem nothing at all.  Moments later the child returns with a tankard of mead and smiles. .  Airister looks over, really, mead here is a silver piece. The child looks down and says No.  The mead I stole and kept the silver.  Draius laughs.  The Paladin says well he was honest.  Airister flicks the child’s ear.  YOU DONT STEAL MEAD OR FOOD.  At this point the owner stands at the table.  Airister, looking for a fight, starts to speak. Jamend cuts him Off. Good sir thank you for coming over we would like to thank you for the Mead you sent over.  We would like to order 3 bottles of your finest wine.  Looking over his shoulder at Airister.  Also 3 bottles of mead. Meats and food for the table.  The owner fresh out of anger nods and walks away.  Airister glares at the gray Ranger. I could have handled that.  Yes and there would have been a fight, now shut up and drink your mead.
The child’s mouth open in amazement at the food on the table.  Airister looks over at the child.  Waves down a serving wench. ” I need a plate and a mug of Watered mead and hurry. a silver if your fast.”  She returns a moment later. Airister pulls the silver from the boys pocket and hands it to the Wench.  She smiles and wheels off.  The boy looking down at the empty pocket. Feels a bump on his head. looking up he see’s Airister with a plate of meats, bread and the watered mead. Get your ass Under this table and eat.  Before I rethink this.  The child grabs the plate and mug and slides under the table,  The table all turns to look at Airister with total shock.  What we had extra just eat is the only reply he gives.
The oil lights are burning red,  the hour is late, sleep calls Most of the party.  Airister reaches for his bottle of pills, tosses 5 in his mouth and pulls from a tankard of mead.   Sleep is the daily enemy of Airister’s ongoing fight.  Kasiday slides close, whispers in his ear. I will be with you. You will be safe, I will not tell your secrets.  She knows his secret but did not know about the screams, the verbal abuse the drink will unleash.  Jamend what time do we ride out in the morning?  Sun up why.  Well how many days ride, Asks Rodman.   No more that a day replies Jamend, why?  Well where are we going to Supply up if its a day away. Dem asks.  This was a good point.  Jamend took a moment to think.   Airister hung his head, pulls the boy from under the table whispers in his ear.  Sends the boy off.  the boy stops looks over his shoulder. You ask for payment I will slay you where you stand now GO. The child runs like a Dragon was on his heels,  If the boy only knew the truth of that feeling.
Moments later Master Sabermen stands at the table.  Fire in his eyes over the sight of his daughter sitting at the table with Airister.  Airister  Pulls over a chair.  Offers it to the Master of the guard.  A heavy pouch in his hand.  He hands it to Sabermen, says we will be staying on for 3 or 4 days.   There is enough gold in there to pay all the men you have watching us.  With you daughter sitting in with us you will always have eyes on us what do you say?  A slight rage grows in the mans chest, he opens the pouch.  His eyes widen, he sighs and nods.  Thanking the table for the gift and takes his leave. Kissing his daughters head whispers in her ear. she smiles nods and kisses his cheek back.  What was all that about Dem asks Kasiday. He told me to keep watch over this one for he may have  good in him yet.  Airister snarls and crushes a glass in his hand.  With that dinner was over.  The boy looks over and sees no blood on the glass or in Airister’s hand tilting his head he shrugs.  Wonding off to check the rooms then head to his bed in the common room with the traveling help.
The child had lucked out. He had gotten a bed between to older women that smiled as Kasiday walked the child to his bed.  Now you know what you need to do in the morning. Yes Mum, In the morning make sure the horses are looked after, All except the black mare give that one a wide birth.  Then shine the God man’s armor.  Look for the thief.  Wake Dem and Jamend.  Then have a mead ready at Airister’s door.  I’m not to go in just wait there.  Good boy.   Mum will you travel with us. No little one Airister will not let me travel with him And in truth he loves another.
Then mum why do you look after him so.  Kasiday tells the child of that night, how Airister had killed 2 men that had attacked her and asked for nothing in return.  Airister was in a drug and mead induced trance and had mistaken Kasiday for someone else.  I walked him to his room and laid him in his bed.  He started to shake and thrash so I laid on top of him and he calmed.  He whispered her name and fell a sleep.  Kasiday was omitting great parts of the story.  No one was to know what she had scene and she would go to the grave keeping his secret.  For he has send two men to the grave for her it was the least she could do. the child looked up and said Is Airister a bad man.  The smile faded from Kasiday’s face.  He was once the most skilled Assassin or  Hunter in the realm.  Someone asked him to change and he did for that person.  Now she is gone, he fights the darkness everyday. Mum do you fear being near him. Yes child I do for I have seen what unspeakable things he can do to a persons body.  Then mum why do you watch over him.   Kasiday thought long on the boys question.  The older woman spoke up.  “because”  is all reason you need to know. Time for sleeping Little boy.  The older women ushered Kasiday out of the Common chambers and locked the door. Kasiday steeled her self for what she was about to see and live through again.  She thought back as slight smile crept over her face.   Not many have scene what she has scene.  She headed off to once again become a woman she has never met for a man she liked and feared all rolled in one.  He could feed and clothe a child befriend a paladin.  Yet could rip a man’s arm off and beat a second man to death with that same arm.  This was not a night for the faint of heart.

RE-post.. Its ledgable and cleaned up

the Shadow of the GoddessAnd from the dark he rises
The Room is dark, The smell of wheat, stale alcohol, an vomit fills the room.  A knock at the door…From an unseen male voice.” think he is alive.”  a female voice answers ” the bar girl says he was, when he paid her” ” knock again…….”
the knock is repeated. A mug shatters as it hits the door. “yep he’s alive”.  Mumbles and the sound of crashing bottles, and swearing can be heard. The female asks, ” should we go in?”  the male voice replies, ” ya its almost sun up, we should be off.”  The Female replies, ” like he will be able to ride in this condition”. The male answers, “He lives, he can ride”
Hearing the knock at the door and the Words he grabs a mug and throws it. It smashes, ringing in his head He thinks …… Not a great idea,. . ….  another night of nightmares, …… the black sleep of the dead,   . . did I pay her last night, . .  did I pay my mead bill, . . . how the hell did I end up in a bed. .  this day will suck. . .   As the door opens the Light washes over him. SHUT THE DAMN DOOR he groans  as the two enter the room. . .
The door closes, the male speaks. ” we ride in a short order. throw up and be done with it or drink more your, choice”. The female replies” More drink, he drank enough to kill 12 men.  You want him to drink more?”
I raise up. “I did not drink enough to kill 12 men for I’m still alive,. . . why I have no idea.”.  Issue is he knows why he is alive. . . I look over to the night table. Grabbing a bottle of tablets.  I pours out a few and toss them in my mouth. I swallows them down with stale mead.
The male voice answers yes, that’s the answer, more pills that will do it.  Look Ranger you and the Elf know this is me. You still ride with me…  The Ranger’s about as tall as a strong horse. He is keen of eye. Bearded and speaks little.  Light chain mail shirt.  A thin jerkin covers him, all in a forest brown.
She is of Elvin decent skilled in many thing. prayers. daggers. the bow. A fine chain armor shines. a fine bow across her back. short sword hang at her hip. .
The Ranger draws the drapes.  I role over to avoid the light. The Ranger speaks. It still amazes me how you vanish in shadows,. . . Its a gift.  Gray, can I ask WHY the hell we are riding at this hour. . . The Gray replies well your little brawl last night will not go over to well and we have a job. .  “Joy” I reply “what is it this time” I mumble.    Will talk on the way.  “Fine go get the food and I will armor up”. .  The two leave the room. . . From my saddle bag I pull out an Image stone and set it upon the table.  The stone comes to life and there is a tall woman, Long dark hair pale skin and fangs can be seen.  The curves of a stunning woman can be observed.  It speaks ” I love you ” is all it says.
I rise from the bed, bones crack and snap in to place. .  scars from many battles can be seen.  The scars in my  mind are worse. .  The woman, Vampire really. Is my,.. It does not matter . . . In the silver glass I see a heavy man of many seasons long flowing hair.  Closing the shades  it becomes clear why I disappear in the shadows.   I grab my  Armor, leather chain, leather pants riding boots I sling my twin short swords over my shoulder.  my Ear ring where the hell is it . .  tossing the table to the side there it is and adds it back to my ear. I have few items left. My armor, my two mystical swords, a ring of protection the ear ring and a chains of charms around my neck.  That’s all I have left after the . . . Again it does not matter…  Placing the Image stone back in the saddle bag along with the tablets, pouch of gold.  I tossing 3 gold coins on the table  “I pity the chamber wench that has to clean this place”.
I descend the stairs to enter the main room of the tavern. Blood can be seen on the floor.  Leers from the staff and owner as I enter the room. The Ranger speaks. “and you say I have a bad way with taverns”. I reply “do you ever not have to point out the obvious”. Its “My gift” is his retort. The owner rambles over. . “you, your a menace, beating them half to death, all the mead, the broken chairs and tables….”.  Oh do shut up Rastan. Just give me the damn bill and shut your hole”,… Is my only reply.   Rastan looks me over and says “50 gold!” “Rastan. I could as easily kill you as pay”.  Yes Airister you could. But when you and the riders need a place to stay, would you stay then?”.  “He has a point.” Pipes in the Ranger,… “He is always good for a bed and a Pint.”  “Who’s side are you On Ranger? mine or Rastan’s ?” ” Well that’s Obvious. his.   now pay the man and lets be off.”…”Fine Ranger.”  “Airister. You know You caused the fight. Now pay up and shut up..”  I toss Rastan the 50 gold. “that is also to cover when the constable comes asking questions.” “Fine, fine. Airister I would have taken 30 for it all but. 50 works.”. . . I mumble “I would have paid 100.  I wonder off…”
The light hurts my eyes. 4 mounted riders await.  A Paladin in bright shining armor, a thief in stolen garb,  the Elf and The Gray Ranger. With distain the Paladin looks over.  I see it was another drunk’n night for you.  “Look metal man not all of us live by an honor code.” Is my only reply.  The Thief laughs.  The elf shakes her head.  The Ranger just tosses his head to my horse.  My horse, a mount as black as night. Its  eyes are like coal.  ill tempered much like its rider…..   As they ride out of town.
A woman looks out the tavern doors a large gem in her hand. A queens ransom its value.  Her pay. For a night with Airister. She wont speak of the words, his screams in the night.  The changes he goes through in the dark. The verbal abuse she takes from him.  No she is well paid. Knows he will return and it will all happen again….

First try at Fiction writing how did i do

A silent scream

And from the dark he rises

The Room is dark, The smell of wheat, stale alcohol vomit fill the room.  A knock at the door…” think he is alive” A unseen voice says a female answers ” the bar girl says he was when he paid her” ” knock again…….
the knock is repeated a mug is thrown at the door and shatters. “yep he’s alive”.  Mumbles and more crashing bottles fall and swearing can be heard. The female asks ” should we go in?”  the male voice replies ” ya its almost sunup we should be off.  The Female replies ” like he will be able to ride in this condition”. The male answers “He lives he can ride”
Hearing the knock at the door and the Words he grabs a mug and throws it. The smash ringing in his head He thinks
 Not a great idea. . . another night of nightmares and black sleep of the dead. . did I pay her last night. .  did I pay my mead bill. . . how the hell did I end up in a bed. .  this day will suck. . .
The door opens the Light washes over him. SHUT THE DAMN DOOR he grows  as the two enter the room. . .
The door closes the male speaks ” we ride in a short order, throw up and be done with it or drink more your choice”. The female replies” More drink he drank enough to kill 12 men and you want him to drink more?”
I raise up “I did not drink enough to kill 12 men for I’m still alive. . . why I have no idea”  Issues is he knows why he is alive. . . I look over and to the night table and grab a bottle of tablets.  Pours out a few and toss them in my mouth and swallows them down with stale mead. The male voice answers yes that’s the answer more pills that will do it.  Look Ranger you and the Elf know this is me and you still ride with me…  The Ranger about as tall as a strong horse and keen of eye, beard and speaks little  a light chain shirt and a thin jerkin coves him all in a forest brown.  She is of Elvin decent skilled in many thing prayers, daggers and the bow. A fine chain shines a fine bow and short swords hang at her hip. .
The Ranger draws the drapes.  I role over to avoid the light. The Ranger speaks still amazes me how you vanish is shadows. . . Its a gift Gray can I ask WHY the hell we are riding at this hour. . . The Gray replays well your little brawl last night will not go over to well and we have a job. .  “Joy” I reply “what is it this time” I mumble.    Will talk on the way.  “Fine go get the food and I will armor up”. .  The two leave the room. . . From my saddle bag I pull out an Image stone and set it upon the table.  The stone comes to life and there is a tall woman Long dark hair pale skin and fangs can be seen.  The curves of a stunning woman can be observed.  It speaks ” I love you ” is all it says.
I rise from the bed bones crack and snap in to place. .  scares from many battles can be seen.  The scars in my  mind are worse. .  The woman Vampire really my.. It does not matter . . . In the silver glass I see a heave man of many seasons long flowing hair.  Closing the shades  it becomes clear why I disappear in the shadows.   I grab my  Armor leather chain and leather pants riding boots I sling my twin short swords over my shoulder.  my Ear ring where the hell is it . .  tossing the table to the side there it is and adds it back to my ear. I have few items left. My armor, my two mystical swords, a ring of protection the ear ring and a chains of charms around my neck.  That’s all I have left after the . . . Again it does not matter…  Placing the Image stone back in the saddle bag along with the tablets, pouch of gold.  Tossing 3 gold coins on the table  “I pity the chamber wench that has to clean this place”.
Enter the main room of the tavern blood can be seen on the floor.  Leers form the staff and owner as I descend the stairs. The Ranger speaks “and you say I have a bad way with taverns”. I reply “do you ever not have to point out the obvious”. Its “My gift” is his retort. The owner rambles over. . “you your a menace, beating them half to death and all the mead the broken chairs and tables….”.  Oh do shut up Rastan just give me the damn bill and shut your hole… Is my only reply.”   Rastan looks me over and says “50 gold” “Rastan I could as easily kill you as pay”.  Yes Airister but when you and the riders need a place to stay where would you stay then?”.  “He has a point” Pipes in the Ranger… “He is always good for a bed and a Pint”.  “Who’s side are you On Ranger mine or Rastan’s ?” ” Well that’s Obvious his now pay the man and lets be off”…”Fine Ranger.”  “Airister You know You caused the fight now pay up and shut up..  I toss Rastan the 50 gold “that is also to cover when the constable come asking questions” “Fine, fine. Airister I would have taken 30 for it all but 50 works”. . . I mumble “I would have paid 100 and wonder off…”
The light hurts my eyes. 4 mounted riders await.  A Paladin in bright shining armor, a thief in stolen garb,  the Elf and The Gray Ranger. . . with distain the Paladin looks over.  I see it was another drunk’n night for you.  “Look metal man not all of us live by a honor code” is my only reply.  the Thief laughs and the elf shakes her head and the Ranger just tosses his head to my horse.  My horse a mount as black as night eyes coal and ill tempered much like its rider…..   As they ride out of town. A woman looks out the tavern doors a large gem in her hand a queens ransom in value.  Her pay for one night with Airister. She wont speak of the words he screams in the night the changes he goes through in the dark or of the verbal abuse she takes from him.  No she is well paid and knows he will return and it will all happen again….

And from the Darkest places Kindness is found

Raina 4A DARK NIGHT MARESept1,2014 till Nov 3rd 2015

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Opening to the Radio show “the shadow”

I hate people not a person but people.  What is the different you ask.  Well people are heard animals, reactionary, with a mob mentality, a group think if you will.  A person has independent thought, Ideals, can feel and even has compassion.   The pictures above are of two woman I know. there is one is of me.  The women are all dark, gothic and breathtakingly beautiful.  Each have shown me kindness one I will never meet in person ( well one says never say never) one I dated.  They all have smiled at a stranger and lifted his hopes.  One was gliding down an escalator at Macy’s when My heart stopped.  As stated many time I’m a large ball of arrogant, harsh asshole, with a thin candy coating of charming. The last picture is of me from Sept. 1st 2014 till now Nov. 3rd 2015   I have lost 18 inches and 78 pounds. .   I would grow it all back if I could go back in time for 24 hours and tell MYSELF what the future holds for him.  That would be me being kind to my self.  I still call my self a Fat man,  I tell my self I’m stupid for what I have done. I’m a loser for losing Raina the best thing I ever had.  Hell I could bring my self up on charges for slander. If I was Married to my self I could get a divorce for verbal abuse.  The woman in the pictures have shown more kindness than I have shown my self. For full disclosure one will from time to time say ” that’s great But you still…. ” it’s a left-handed compliment that she is working on stopping.   Kali Noir Diamond a gothic model that have every right to just say “thank you” and never give it a second thought.  What she did, chatted, smiled and gave a kind word to a strange. The Beautiful woman at Macy’s did not have to have lunch with me but she did.  She did not have to invite me to make a life with her but she did.  All acts of kindness to a person that self-abuse.

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Dragon knows!”,

I’m trying hard to stop but I fail. .  a lot . .  I keep trying. . I have started telling friends to stop with the negative help also. .  when I want to think about what if I had done this different….. LET ME for a  min it lessens the pain.. Don’t keep hammering home will did you ever think your meant to be here now so you can grow. .  Yes I think of that often.  So from the Darkest places of the Goth world Three Gothic woman bent over to make an wounded Dragon smile and stand back up.