OK

Jessica, Henry’s Secretary:
Mr. Turner, what’s wrong?

Henry:
Well, I had enough. So I said when.

Regarding Henry {1991}

Do you know the term 1000 yard stair.  The term dead inside.  That’s me. There is one woman in this world I love and will forever love.  Her name need not be typed here for she knows who she is.  I told her today that we can’t text, call, or email. She can text me in the morning I will reply alive.  That’s it.  It came to that, we both would argue and strike in works.  We would see who could hurt the other never mean to but we would subconsciously.. we did.   I’m the walking dead.   am I suicidal.. .no.  Would I care if I die this moment no.  I’m the walking dead.  I love her as I said that will never change.  I guess I do feel something.  Anger and hate.  We displace it on the other for we know what we did to the other but the fingers get pointed and the dishes get broken.  Then at one point some one say ” I can’t talk to you any more” and the replay is “OK”. . OK….. that’s it two letters  a love that moved mountains.  Saved us from a life of hell.  Is summed up with ok.  Shrugs  so that’s how it ends not with a crash or a bang or the slamming of a door. . . “OK” . . . In a few weeks I may call her, tell her to have her snack.  Ask about our Dogs.  I don’t know as with any recovery its day by day.  I will stay up as always to see 12:01am to know I have seen another day. I will know I have the strength to do it again after a 4 hour sleep of the dead with no dreams.  just black.  little slices of death.  I can go days with no sleep. 4 day with a 3 hours nap every 20 hours and I could function.  Done it may time.   So as Dragon scrubs the stain off the wall of the castle.  Raymond screams and pounds his fist against the scale hide. NO, NO YOU CANT TAKE THE LAST OF HER FROM ME.  He scrubs the pain and the hurt all the time dying in side.  He loves her he misses her, he wants her back.  One last echo trapped in a bottle of “I LOVE YOU DRAGON” for when the demons are clawing at the door. The voices scream in my head.  I can stop in hale and hear her say “ I love you my Dragon.”……. OK……….

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