Where life had no value

The Ice Queen and the Dragon

 

Where life had no value, death, sometimes, had its price……..”

for a few dollars more (movie)

Why do I start a blog with the view of death?  Because I do not care to live or die. Its not the heartache of losing the love of his life. Its the heartache that I played a part in its death.  I still have the love of my life as a friend.  This week was a hard week, for the Specter of Illness was in the air.  I have told her of my wishes for when the scares of my past take my mind.   She will take care of my needs when I no longer know what day it is.  This is a woman’s love for someone that does not deserve it.  I’m rude harsh and broke her heart.  She did the same but I never was 100% hers.  I let sins of my past cloud my heart.   So where life had no value, death, sometimes, had its price. The death of our relationship cost me my heart that I gladly give to a woman that will keep it safe, clean and protected.  Will I ever ask for it back? No. Will we ever use it together, I know not.  What I know – in the morning I will read good morning from her. Once in a wile I will see her in-world or on cam.  I go into life at age 48, sad, broken, and hurting.  I have no use for my heart when I was a fool with one before. So I ask my Ice Queen to watch it protect it and one day smile that I had nothing to give her but this heart with all the scars and the sins of my past.  I have little honor left for the things I have said and have done.  Maybe just maybe some of it will be returned if I live as she asked me to.  As a strong man that will try and maybe fail but always fight and never again become complacent again.

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